


Shattering Stereotypes.

by cutenewt



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Actor Bucky Barnes, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Steve Rogers, Asexual Bucky Barnes, Autism Spectrum, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes-centric, Canon Autistic Character, Caring, Celebrity Crush, Domestic Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Kindness, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Sad and Happy, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-05-03 22:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 35,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14579253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutenewt/pseuds/cutenewt
Summary: Steve Rogers has just graduated college, and is now a fully fledged film and media student. It just so happens that he’s landed a job as an intern, working on the set of a new indie movie. It also just so happens the lead actor is an up and coming guy called James Barnes. Steve is now findng it rather hard to concentrate on working, and has become intrigued with the true caring nature of someone he assumed would be a stereotypical, rude celebrity.





	1. Chapter 1

A small chiming noise jolts Steve awake — well, he hadn’t actually realised that he’d fallen asleep in the first place. He must’ve dozed off whilst drawing, because that’s what he sees pressed up against his cheek when he opens his eyes. He sits up and stretches, looking over at his laptop that’s now showing an email notification on the screen.

 

Grabbing his glasses from the desk, he makes his way over to read it. The email is from his step father, and he can’t help but audibly groan. **_‘To Steven, I know you’ve just graduated media studies. Sorry again we couldn’t make your ceremony. Anyway, as you might know — maybe not, since we don’t really talk — I’m quite close with a director. He’s an old golfing buddy, and we caught up this weekend. It turns out he’s working on a new project, and I mentioned you. Put in a good word, and said you’d make a good intern. I gave him your details, and he said he’d work something out. Good luck, Edmond.’_ ** Steve’s eyebrows raise significantly, as he opens up the reply tab. He taps out a quick ‘thank you’ note, unsure of what to think. The guy is unpredictable, and he’s most likely exaggerating anyway.

 

Steve shuts down and closes the laptop, sighing to himself. It’d be nice if this worked out, because his only income right now is from his commissions and he only has a few months left in this student apartment complex, before he has to officially move out. He decides to head downstairs and make some food, and then he’ll most likely text his friend to gain their opinion on this whole ordeal.

 

▪️

 

A week later and Steve is more than surprised to receive an actual _letter_ from this director. It explains everything about the movie, and invites him to become an official intern. If he does well he’ll gain a reference for his CV, which could mean bigger and better things for his future. There’s an address for him to arrive at in two days time, when the movie will begin shooting. Apparently the lead actor is an upcoming star, but Rogers has never once heard the name ‘James Barnes’ during his college years. He’s probably one of those wannabe famous people — I mean the movie is an ‘indie aesthetic love story’ for crying out loud. But, all the same it’s an opportunity. So, Steve makes a note and attaches it to his pin board. All he has to do is show up and get given orders, there isn’t even an interview required. Maybe Edmond _can_ provide useful sometimes.

 

Aside from his initial doubts about the whole thing, Steve had still made a promise to let his best friend know of the outcome. They’ve been friends since they were kids — it’s kind of been luck that she attended the same college as him. But, rather than media and art, she had opted for a medical career… which is far more lengthy, and she still has four years to go. _‘It’s growing up with you that inspired me,’_ is her usual explanation.

 

Rogers locks his dorm room up, and makes his way along the corridor. Her room is right at the end, and it’s not exactly hard to miss with a little dream catcher hung on the door handle. You aren’t allowed to violate the rules and decorate the doors, so she compromised, of course. Steve knocks twice, and hears “it’s open!”

 

He opens up the door, and is greeted with the sight of what seems like fifty books and one hundred papers scattered all over the floors. “What the hell, Ria?!” Steve exclaims, pushing the door shut behind him.

 

The redhead looks up. “Just step around the papers,” she states nonchalantly. “Oh, do you come with news?” Her facial expression changes immediately.

 

“Yeah, I got a letter and they want me to intern!” He grins, somehow managing to avoid the papers and join her on the bed.

 

Ria gasps. “When do you go? Are you gonna stay here… wait, it’s in this state right?” She starts shooting question after question towards him.

 

“Breathe. It’s half an hour by subway — I googled it. I’m gonna try and find somewhere as close to the college as a I can when my time is up.”

 

She snickers. “Steve, you’re not gonna die.”

 

“Shut up. You know what I meant,” he mumbles. “Anyway, I’ll text you how my day goes and stuff,” the blonde smiles.

 

“You better!”

 

▪️


	2. Chapter 2

When Steve makes his way down to the subway a few days later, he didn’t expect himself to feel this nervous. He isn’t sure if it’s because he’s worried about making a good impression towards the director, or whether it’s because he’ll be meeting actual movie stars — even if they aren’t extremely famous yet. He tries to calm his breathing as he steps onto the platform, and makes a mental note to himself that he will be fine. The subway ride is short, and then it’s another ten or so minute walk to the studios where the set is placed.

 

He presses the buzzer by the door, and states his name. They let him in, and he is met with a rather fancy looking reception area. The woman at the desk leads him down a corridor, and then into an office.

 

“This is your new intern, Sir.” The woman greets the male sat behind a desk.

 

He nods once towards her, and she leaves the room. “Hey, kid. I’m Mr. Clark… just call me Sir.” The man extends his hand, and Steve shakes it. “We’re starting shooting on set one, so follow me.”

 

The pair exit the room, and leave through a door at the end of the corridor. This takes them out into a much bigger courtyard, surrounded by small buildings that look like warehouses from the outside. Once Steve follows Clark inside of the one they need, he looks around in awe — it’s been decorated to look like an expensive hotel bedroom, presumably where this scene will be set.

 

Before he can say anything about how impressed he is, Steve begins to feel like he’s in the way. Various crew members with cameras and other equipment start bustling past him, so he hurries to stand at the side. “Barnes! You made it!” He hears Clark exclaim, and turns to catch a glimpse of the lead.

 

_ Oh, wow. _ The guy is dressed in what must be his outfit for the scene — an all black suit, with a half unbuttoned shirt and his tie on loose. His hair falls into his eyes, but it’s been styled to do so. He greets the cast and crew, a shy smile worn over his features. He eyes Steve hiding in the corner, and smiles at him. His eyes are beautiful.

 

“Alright, c’mon!” The direction yells, making Steve jump. “Kid, go make yourself familiar with the coffee machine, would ya?” He turns, calling over before shouting “action!”

 

Steve nods, scurrying out of the set and back into the small entry room where there’s a few seats and a hot drinks machine. He sighs, and hears the door open again. Unfortunately, it’s only another crew member who begins to reel off the various hot drink orders.

 

▪️

 

By the end of the day, Steve is bordering on exhausted. The amount of times he was sent off to collect things from storage or from props — bearing in mind he had roughly no idea where to go, and he had a limited time to find them before the director would most likely get mad. He’s made more hot drinks that he’d care to count, and all he wants to do is curl up in bed and sleep. Maybe cry a little too.

 

He’s the last one to leave — or, so he assumes — after sweeping up one of the sets. Steve sighs heavily, wondering if he should’ve agreed to this job in the first place. It isn’t even a job. He isn’t even getting  _ paid _ . Dragging his feet across the courtyard, the blonde makes his way to the reception. The woman at the desk seems too busy to say anything to, so he heads on out and back home again. Usually he’d go straight to see his best friend, but tonight Steve barely manages a small meal before getting ready for bed and passing out before he’s even fully tucked up under the covers.

 

It’s Tuesday morning before Steve knows it, and his alarm is going off in his ear. He groans heavily, turning it off as quickly as he can. The movie is due to shoot for eight months, five days a week — giving him Fridays and Sundays off. But, unfortunately today is neither one of those days, so he has to go and make more hot drinks all over again.

 

There’s no time to check in with his friend, so he drops her a text explaining that he fell asleep too fast last night to come and talk to her. Steve showers, gets dressed and manages one slice of toast before taking his meds. He hurries out of the door, praying that it isn’t going to rain since he didn’t have any time to bring an umbrella. Thankfully, he arrives on set two minutes early. The receptionist idly buzzes him in, on the phone to somebody at the time. Steve wonders where he should go first — he spots a few crew members, but they seem to be heading towards him. He sighs, but then hears a familiar voice. “Hey, intern!” It’s the lead.

 

Steve raises an eyebrow. He wants to correct the guy, but he’s probably too obnoxious to give a shit about Steve’s name. “Sorry, I didn’t get your name yesterday.” Or maybe he does.

 

“Um, I — it’s Steve.” He stammers, feeling awkward now that James is so close to him with that adorable half smile worn upon his face.

 

He extends a hand towards Rogers’. “We’re on set two today,” Barnes explains, shaking his hand. “C’mon.”

 

They walk together in silence, as Steve isn’t sure what to say. All this time he’d been expecting the guy to be at least somewhat rude, and now he feels bad for creating a stereotype inside of his head before actually speaking to him first. James holds the door open for him, and Rogers smiles in thanks. The director is already barking out orders, so there’s no more time for any kind of chatting.

 

“Hey, kid! We need a makeup girl in here… could you go get her from the makeup trailer?” Clarke yells towards Steve’s general direction.

 

Barnes turns. “All of the trailers are behind set four. Literally opposite set one, where we were yesterday.”

 

“Thank you,” Steve says, genuinely relieved.

 

He rushes of to collect this girl and find out her actual name — hearing Clarke call everyone by degrading nicknames is an extreme irk of his already, and it's only day two. Steve manages to find the trailer easily, and introduces himself to the makeup team before requesting one of them in a much more polite way than the director had previously done so. One of the women — named Nat — walks off, so Steve decides not to run and make a fool out of himself. He could do with a rest already, feeling his chest grow a little tighter with each passing second.

 

This time the scene that they’re filming is an outdoors one. Obviously, since it’s mid-February they can’t use an actual field, so there’s a lot of green screens and fake plants. Steve watches as the makeup team place little flowers in James and his character’s girlfriend’s hair. He sits politely still, and thanks them once they’re done. Steve sighs quietly. He’s actually very endearing to look at.

 

Unfortunately a cast member comes up to him with another job to complete, so Steve doesn’t even get to watch the scene. Instead he’s actually asked to untangle headsets in the reception office. Which is empty. Even the receptionist is probably somewhere having much more fun that he is. Steve sighs heavily, getting to work.

 

▪️

 

By the time Saturday evening rolls around Steve is just about ready to collapse into bed and sleep the next day away. He promised to have a proper talk with Ria though — she’s been busy with an essay and he hasn’t really had any time to speak to her with the internship going on. The blonde plugs his headphones into his ears, and battles the busy subway. He gets back to the apartment later than usual due to the rush hour, and he knocks against Ria’s door with barely any energy left inside of him.

 

There’s no reply, so Steve lets himself in. She’s only sat on her bed with her headphones in, so he enters properly and shuts the door. Ria looks up a second later, and yanks her headphones off of her head. “I got you tea — you didn’t text me to say you were coming back, so I assumed you needed it.”

 

“Thanks,” he exhales heavily, taking the drink from the table and sitting on her bed.

 

“So… I take it you aren’t having as good a time as you’d hoped?” Ria asks.

 

He shrugs, taking a sip of his tea. “Well, I now know how to make tea like an expert.” Steve mumbles.

 

“Don’t feel too disheartened — all the film companies will want you after this,” she says.

 

Steve smiles. “Maybe.”

 

▪️


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I’d double update today, since tomorrow I’ll be going on holiday six days. See you soon!

The next morning Steve awakes to a message from Ria, asking if he would like to assist her in picking out new clothes. I mean, this usually wouldn’t interest him in the slightest, but he could do with a break and he loves his best friend. So, of course he says yes. He has to shower and get ready first, and was a little shocked to see that she’d sent the message two hours ago… at eight a.m. Rogers taps out a reply, and quickly gets himself ready.

 

He meets her outside his room just under an hour later, and she smiles. “Why’re you wearing your glasses?” Ria asks, genuinely sounding concerned.

 

“I couldn’t be bothered with my contacts.” He shrugs.

 

Steve zips up his black coat, and follows her down the stairs. She always manages to look preppy and her outfits are usually colour coordinated perfectly — today she’s opted for some autumnal shades, with a red scarf, dark brown jacket and her tights are a flattering crimson colour. Her leather brogues compliment the jacket without it clashing… and, honestly Steve doesn’t know how she does it. He usually just throws on the most decent thing he comes to first in his closet.

 

“Sleep well?” Ria asks, holding the door open for him.

 

She pulls a lollipop out of her pocket, and puts it in her mouth. “Don’t give me that look, you know I’m trying to quit drinking so much caffeine.” His friend warns, the mustard coloured fingerless gloves coming out of her pocket next. She places them over her hands, keeping her painted nails visible.

 

“Uh, yeah — I think I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.” He admits. “You?”

 

“After I finished my work, yeah,” the girl groans.

 

They continue walking until they’re off campus, and they head down into the subway. Steve has never been a big fan of crowds, and neither has Ria. She links arms with him as they make their way onto the train that will take them into the city.

 

Once they’re back up and in the fresh air again, Ria lets go of his arm. She sighs deeply, becoming visibly more relaxed. “Okay, first I need a new notepad.” The redhead exclaims, already making a beeline through the crowds.

 

Steve quickens his pace to catch up, and soon they’re inside of a nearby stationery store. “You have, like, a ton of notepads.” He frowns, following her in and out of aisles.

 

“I always need new notepads, Steve.” Ria shakes her head, picking out a glittery one. “Too much?” She raises an eyebrow.

 

He chuckles, but coughs a little. “I mean… nothing is too much for you,” he smirks.

 

Ria hits him with the book. “I’m gonna get it — do you need anything for your drawings?” He shakes his head.

 

Once she’s paid they head back outdoors again. The wind is bitter, and Steve zips his coat up a little further. “Where next?” He asks.

 

“Well… there’s this cute girl in my lecture, right? The brunette one, not the blonde… anyway, I asked her where she got her cute sweater and she said there’s a sale on in Kate Spade!” Her voice goes high pitched towards the end.

 

He shakes his head, but follows her anyway. When they arrive at the clothing store, Ria goes directly to the sale area. Steve glances at a few price tags and his eyes widen. “Ria, have you seen these prices?!” The blonde mutters in disgrace.

 

“I deserve it.” She huffs.

 

Steve decides to leave it at that. He follows her around whilst she looks, almost bumping into her when she stops abruptly beside some sweaters hanging up. “Sorry,” he mutters.

 

“Do you think it’s weird if I get the exact same colour as her?” She asks, holding the item of clothing up against her, a quizzical look on her face.

 

“Uh, I guess not?” He scratches the back of his neck.

 

She pouts, and then puts it back. “It’s definitely weird, Steve.”

 

Ria decides on a different colour and then also finds some cute socks that she apparently needs.  _ Who knew?  _ They’re in the queue now, and they’re surrounded by other people taking advantage of the rare sale event.

 

“Maybe I should’ve looked at those jeans… hey, do I need to try this on?” She holds up the sweater again, almost hitting a zoned out Steve in the face with it. “Steve, are you even listening to me?”

 

“You don’t need to try it on, Ria. Everything fits you perfectly.” He says, still staring ahead.

 

“But —“

 

“Mariette.”

 

She glares at him. “That was uncalled for,” Ria mumbles, moving up as the queue gets shorter.

 

After what seems like much too long they’re out of the store again and within safe distance away from anymore clothes that Ria may want to buy. “Wanna go for some food?” She asks, her cheerful tone having returned.

 

“Sure.”

 

They start walking again, in search of a nearby cafe. “You okay?” Ria breaks the silence.

 

“Mhm,” Steve replies, kicking a stone across the sidewalk.

 

The pair head inside a warm cafe seconds later, the smell of caffeine and pastries extremely welcoming. They order their drinks and grab a table. Ria takes a sip of her hot chocolate, frowning at her friend from across the table.

 

“You’re getting sick,” she states bluntly.

 

Steve puts his ice coffee down onto the table with a thud. “No, I’m not.”

 

“It’s February — iced coffees aren’t meant for February.” Ria says matter-of-factly.

 

He laughs. “Why not?”

 

“Steve,” her tone is stern. “I can read you like a book — you’re the  _ only _ person I can read like a book. You’d always pick out apple juice at snack time instead of orange when your throat hurt.”

 

“We were  _ four _ .” Steve scoffs. She raises her eyebrows at him, giving him a silent look of judgment. “Alright, fine. I have a slight sore throat — it’s probably from all the talking I did last week!” He admits, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest.

 

She smiles satisfactorily. “We can go home after this,” Ria adds, the ‘I knew it’ smile fading away as quickly as it had come.

 

“No, it’s okay.”

 

“I don’t need anything else,” Ria says, taking another drink.

 

So, they finish their drinks and eat their lunches before heading back to the subway. Once again they link arms until they’re back out of the station, and then she lets go. “Wanna stop off at the pharmacy?” She asks, noticing that he’s coughing again.

 

Steve shakes his head. “No, you gotta fill me in on how much you’ve been talking to cute girl — you told me she had a boyfriend.”

 

“That was  _ blonde _ cute girl. I’d never really spoken to brunette cute girl before, but she asked me a question and I was like… you are adorable.” Ria sighs. “Not really much to tell.”

 

Both of them walk up to Ria’s room. “You coming in?” He nods.

 

Steve sits on her bed whilst she tries on the new sweater. “Do you like it?” She asks, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

 

“Looks good. Cute girl won’t know what hit her,” he grins, shaking up his inhaler.

 

She pouts slightly. “Don’t look at me like that,” Steve warns, putting the cap back on.

 

“Like what?” Ria acts faux innocent, getting changed into a pyjama shirt.

 

The redhead sits down on the bed beside him, grabbing him into a sideways hug. “Why do you have to contract everything under the sun and worry me?”

 

“Pass on that one,” Steve mumbles, trying to escape her surprisingly strong grip.

 

She lets go of him when she feels him struggling against her. “I’m just kidding. You wanna watch a movie?” Ria switches subjects, and Rogers mentally reminds himself why she’s his best friend in the entire universe.

 

They settle down and watch a couple of Disney movies before Steve falls asleep. She covers him over with a blanket, and gets out her laptop to finish off some work.

 


	4. Chapter 4

When Monday morning arrives, Steve manages to open his eyes enough to be confused as to his whereabouts. The first thing that he realises is that he’s in Ria’s room — he can see her curled up on her couch that’s beside her work desk. Also, the sun is shining quite brightly through the windows… it should still be dark.

 

“You’re awake!” Ria jumps up when she hears him groan. “Don’t panic, I called the intern place people — the studios, yeah — and told them you’ll be back tomorrow. Don’t get mad.” Her voice turns small.

 

He sits up and rubs his eyes. Steve can sort of remember falling asleep and waking up a lot after they’d watched the movies, and he definitely remembers Ria giving him water throughout the night, plus maybe some pills and a slice of toast at one point. Maybe it’s best he stays home today.

 

“Are you mad?” She interrupts his thought process.

 

Steve shakes his head, not wanting to talk yet. Ria sighs from the relief. She walks up to him, and tugs the blanket away. “You had a fever a few hours ago, it went down though.”

 

“What would I do without you?” He smiles weakly, and lies back down.

 

“I have to go to my first lecture in half an hour, but I’ve written down the last time you had painkillers. Go see the on site nurse if you get worse and call me… okay?” Ria says, and he nods for her sake.

 

Steve decides to spend the day lying in bed sketching and eating jello when she’s busy with her work. He falls asleep quite a few times, and he’s still in a slumber when Ria arrives back late in the afternoon. She carefully moved his sketchpad and pencil out of the way, and removes the duvet from covering him up.

 

He stirs in his sleep, and then opens his eyes. “I was comfy,” Rogers grumbles.

 

“You really never learn, do you?” She sighs, going over to her work desk and starting up her laptop.

 

Steve sits up. “You’re mean,” he pouts.

 

“Do me a favour and take more painkillers, would you? If you’ve been taking them on time you should be due your next dose… half an hour ago,” Ria states, momentarily checking her watch.

 

He does as she says, despite feeling stupid for being outsmarted by her — as usual. But, she’s only doing it because she cares. “I think I’m going to get back to my room. Thanks, Ri.” Steve tells her, getting to his feet.

 

▪️

 

Despite the fact that it’s probably a stupid idea, Steve is already up and dressed earlier than he needs to be the next morning. He wears one of his favourite sweaters — it’s navy blue and knitted — plus his smartest pair of jeans. Once his shoes are on his feet he’s ready to brave the chilly air outside, and he hurries off before Ria can come by and talk him out of it.

 

He gets to the studios with plenty of time to spare, but that doesn’t make him feel any better. Steve is about to walk inside the door when a car stops just outside of the gate beside him, and the window winds down. “Hey, Steve. Get in and we’ll drive you inside!” It’s James’ voice.

 

Rogers turns, accepting the invitation silently with a small smile. He gets into the backseat, James having shuffled over for him. “You feeling better?” The guy asks kindly.

 

Every time Steve speaks to him he continues to shatter the asshole famous stereotype that the blonde had in mind for him. “I — uh, yeah,” he mumbles, leaning against the car window.

 

The driver stops when Barnes asks him to, and he thanks him as he gets out. “No worries, Bucky.”

 

Steve frowns. “Bucky?” He asks, his voice failing him with the last syllable.

 

“It’s a nickname,” the brunette explains, unlocking his trailer door. “My middle name is Buchanan.” He explains further, guessing that Steve is still confused.

 

Rogers follows him inside. The trailer is extremely spacious and tidy. “Thanks for the lift,” he quickly says, realising he hadn’t even done so in the first instance.

 

“I have a job for you.” ‘Bucky’ then announces.

 

Steve raises his eyebrows.

 

“Go lie on that couch, and nap. I’ll tell Clark you’re doing jobs for me all day and then as soon as my scenes are over I’m taking you home.”

 

“What?”

 

“You heard me,” Barnes states, running a hand through his somehow already camera worthy looking hair.

 

Doing as he’s asked, Steve sits down on the couch. “I don’t wanna be any trouble,” he mutters, feeling awkward now.

 

“You’re not,” Bucky smiles. “You don’t get paid for this, right?” Steve shakes his head. “So I don’t want you overworking yourself for no reason. You should rest.”

 

“Thank you,” Steve replies, trying not to sound as surprised as he really feels by this gratitude.

 

▪️

 

Steve opens his eyes, feeling groggy. “Thank god, I thought you were dying for a moment. You snore loud,” a voice laughs.

 

He frowns. “I don’t snore!” Rogers snaps, sitting up.

 

Bucky giggles. “Yeah, you do. You hungry?” He asks, and Steve sees that he’s sat cross legged on the floor with an array of food spread out over the coffee table.

 

“No, thanks.”

 

Finishing up his sandwich, Barnes places the wrapper on the table. “I’ve finished my scenes — they’ve got a lot of scenery and a few solo scenes for Delilah. I can take you home now,” he says.

 

“I’ll be okay by myself,” Steve replies… but, a part of him would love to have a proper conversation with the guy. He just feels like they probably won’t get on.

 

“I can drive you. They don’t mind if I leave set by myself, it’s just I get a driver for when I want or need him.”

 

“Alright… uh, are you sure?” The blonde asks.

 

Bucky nods with a smile. They head outside of his trailer and get into one of the cars parked up nearby. Steve tells him the address for the navigation system, and then they’re on their way.

 

“What’re you studying?” Bucky questions.

 

“Oh, uh… I studied film and media. I graduated recently,”

 

“That’s why you wanted the internship?”

 

Steve nods. “Yeah,” he clears his throat.

 

“I’m sorry that Clark is such an asshole… I’m literally only working for him to put myself on the map,” Buck explains, turning into Steve’s college parking lot.

 

He parks the car, then looks over at the sleepy guy beside him. “Take tomorrow off, and I’ll see you Thursday.” Barnes says.

 

Steve goes to protest, but the guy hops out of the car and hurries around it to open his door for him. Rogers can feel himself blushing. “Thanks,” he mutters, losing his footing slightly when stepping down. Bucky grabs his hand to steady him, and they awkward lock eye contact until Steve tears his gaze away.

 

“See — See you Thursday!” He yells, hurrying off without it looking like he wants to run away and hide forever.

 

He doesn’t even hear, nor to stop check if Bucky shouts anything back. When the blonde arrives inside, he’s about to unlock his apartment when he hears someone come up behind him. “And, what do you think you’re doing?” Ria exclaims, making him jump despite the fact that he knew she was there.

 

“I’m home early, aren’t I?” Steve mumbles, as if that makes it any better.

 

She huffs loudly. “I really have to study, but I’ll be over in a couple hours.” The girl ruffles his hair then walks back down the hallway leaving him be.

 

A little while later and Ria lets herself into his room. Steve looks up from his phone, eyebrows raised. “Is knocking not a thing anymore?”

 

“Nope, now shut up and tell me everything.”

 

Rogers blinks slowly. “First of all, that made no sense… second of a — ice cream!” He exclaims, getting distracted when she brandishes the tub and spoon out in front of her. Taking it gratefully, he waits for her to take a seat on the bed opposite him.

 

“So?”

 

“I think I like the lead guy in the movie,” Steve mumbles.

 

She grins.

 

“It’s not a good thing! He’s way out of my league and extremely charming. Plus, I have no idea if he’s single or not.” His shoulders slump, as he eats another spoonful. “He’s so caring and he barely even knows me.” Steve whines.

 

Ria laughs. “Just get to know him more. Whatever happens, least you’ll make a friend.”

 

“But, he’s real fuckin’ pretty, Ri.” Steve groans, holding the spoon in his mouth as he sighs.

 

She shakes her head. “You should get some rest,” his friend adds.

 

“He literally told me to take tomorrow off.” Rogers comments back, putting the lid on the ice cream and lying down.

 

“Well, he’s right.”

 

▪️


	5. Chapter 5

**_Saturday morning._ **

 

Steve arrives back on set feeling back to himself again. He’d gone back to work on Thursday, but they just sent him home a few hours early after he almost had an asthma attack rushing to hand out drinks. But, today he even has a small skip in his step as he walks towards the building the receptionist had directed him to. Pushing open a door, he feels a little more nervous as he can hear Clarke yelling about something.

 

“... how are we meant to film his scenes if he can’t even talk?!” Steve is still half way inside of the room, still holding the door when he hears this. Of course, he panics and let’s go of the door… letting it hit him in the face. Then he regains common sense and hurries off towards Bucky’s trailer, knocking softly but with urgency still in his mind.

 

It doesn’t take long for the trailer door to open, and then Barnes appears at the door. He’s wearing the cosiest looking sweater and a pair of sweatpants, and comically has a piece of paper taped down against his chest that reads ‘voice rest.’

 

“This is all my fault!” Steve squeaks.

 

Bucky’s face breaks into a smile and he chuckles quietly. “What if I already forgave you?” He whispers, a slightly playful smirk playing upon his lips.

 

The blonde gulps. Then he feels a pain against his forehead. Reaching up to touch it, he notices Bucky looking worried above him. “What the hell did you do?”

 

“Had a fight with a door,” Steve mumbles awkwardly, brushing his bangs back over the fresh bruise.

 

Shaking his head, Bucky steps out of his trailer and closes the door. He descends down the steps and is soon towering over Steve on the tarmac. “Wanna get outta here?” His voice is still a whisper, and the gap between them could so easily be closed with a kiss right now. Steve clears his throat, trying to shut his mind up.

 

“Sure,” he says, hoping he didn’t stare at the guy’s lips for as long as he thinks he might’ve.

 

They sneak off to one of the cars, and Bucky gets into the driver's seat. “Are you, uh, okay to drive?” Rogers asks awkwardly.

 

The brunette frowns. “I’m not dying, Stevie.”

 

Steve almost has a minor heart attack at the new given nickname towards him, but plays it off as cool with a slight chuckle that sort of turns into him choking on air. “Sure  _ you’re _ okay?” Bucky asks, starting up the engine.

 

They drive a little way in the quiet, until Steve speaks again. “Uh, you won’t get fired for this will you?” He asks, as Bucky pulls into a parking lot.

 

The guy shrugs, still concentrating on driving. Once they’re parked up he turns to face him, and simultaneously rips off the paper from his sweater. “Nah,” he smirks. “I’ll text Delilah and say I went home.”

 

“What’re we doing?” Steve asks, watching the guy hop out of the car.

 

Suddenly he opens Rogers’ door for him, and the blonde thanks him whilst trying not to blush. “This diner does the best ice cream,” Bucky explains.

 

Sighing, Steve follows after him. “I’m so sorry I got you sick,” he says.

 

Barnes stops abruptly, and the smaller guy almost walks right into him. “Well, this isn’t your fault,” he starts, clearly talking about his lack of voice.  “My sister is visiting, and last night we went out to a bar and sang karaoke.” He smiles.

 

“Oh?”

 

“Obviously, I was the best.” He smirks, then starts walking again.

 

He holds the door open for Steve and even pays for his ice cream. This guy is just too much. They sit down in an empty booth and tuck into their desserts, making awkward eye contact every few seconds.

 

“So, uh, even though this isn’t exactly my fault… I feel like I should help. Uh, you could stop by mine for the day? Or, wait — your sister,” Steve rambles, regretting his offer immediately.

 

Buck smiles the cutest little smile. “She’s out with some old friends today, so I’ll take up your offer… if you want?”

 

“I do know the best tea making recipes,” Rogers chuckles softly.

 

They finish their ice creams, and then head off to Steve’s place. He’s slightly anxious in bringing Bucky there… I mean, the guy probably has a much nicer home. But, when they arrive the brunette seems to be in awe of the stack of unfinished drawings on Steve’s desk, and all of the art supplies stacked up on the shelf above it.

 

“This is awesome!” He exclaims, making himself cough.

 

“Thanks… but, stop talking. I mean that in the nicest possible way,” Steve adds.

 

Bucky nods, then continues to look at the papers. “You don’t mind me looking, do you?” He whispers.

 

Shaking his head, Rogers sits on the bed. Sure, he’s a little shy about his work, but Bucky is acting so nice about it and that’s something that’s making Steve like him even more. “Uh, do you like watching movies?” He realises how stupid that sounds, and cringes at himself in his mind.

 

“I do,” Bucky whispers. “What kinda movie?”

 

“Don’t laugh… but, Disney?”

 

“Uh, fuck yeah!” Bucky tries to exclaim, only to once again momentarily choke.

 

Steve rolls his eyes, but then he cracks a smile. “Alright, you gotta promise not to sing though.” He teases, reaching under the bed for his laptop.

 

“I can’t promise I won’t mouth the words, Stevie.” Barnes says, sitting down comfortably next to the blonde.

 

Loading up ‘The Little Mermaid,’ Steve tries not to think about how close Bucky is. And, how easy it would be to cuddle him right about now.

 

The next thing Rogers knows is he’s stirring from a sleep he hadn’t even realised he’d fallen into. He opens his eyes slowly, and the first thing he sees is a figure sat at his desk. The first thing he feels is someone’s arms wrapped tightly around him.  _ Bucky’s _ arms.

 

“Oh, you’re awake,” it’s Ria’s voice.

 

Steve blinks, and wriggles out of the guy’s grip. He shakily gets to his feet and ignores every thread of internal panic. “How long have you been sitting there?!” He whisper yells.

 

“About… half an hour. Who is that, by the way?” She asks casually.

 

“That’s Bucky,” he tries to ignore the excited gasp she emits.

 

“The guy you —“

 

“Shush!” Steve snaps before she can finish that sentence, in fear of him waking up and hearing it.

 

Ria gets to her feet, a smug smile still worn across her features. “Text me when he’s gone then,” she whispers. “I’ll be waiting!” She then leaves his dorm room.

 

At the sound of the door closing, Bucky stirs on the bed. He sits up moments later, obviously forgetting where he is as he mumbles to himself in confusion.

 

“You good?” Steve asks, walking back over to the bed.

 

The brunette nods. “I should get back,” he says.

 

“Uh, no offence… but, you don’t look great. Maybe wait a little?” Steve asks awkwardly. “Let me make you some tea first.”

 

Bucky nods in agreement, and curls up against the duvet again. He drinks the tea when Steve brings it, then eventually stands up to leave. It’s almost noon by now, and Rogers even offers him to stay longer for some food.

 

“I’m not trying to be weird… uh, I just don’t think you should drive when you’re not feeling good.” He adds, aware of how clingy he must currently be acting in Bucky’s eyes. “Uh, I could always come with you in the car, and just catch the subway home? Just go check you’re okay,” he looks downwards, avoiding eye contact.

 

“Deal,” Barnes utters quietly.

 

Signing from relief, Steve grabs his jacket. They make their way down to the parking lot and he drives them out of it. The journey is longer than Rogers had originally anticipated, since it’s roughly forty minutes until they arrive. Bucky parks in a parking lot, and then leads the way up to some stone steps. There’s potted flowers aligned each side of them.

 

“There’s a lotta middle aged women that live here,” Bucky explains with a chuckle.

 

They stop outside of the door, silence falling over them. A part of Steve wants to stay with Bucky, make sure he’s okay throughout the rest of the day. Snuggle up and watch another movie. But, like he’s already said to himself, they aren’t even friends yet. He has to stop this.

 

“Wanna come in? I could, uh, use some company… if you wanna?”

 

_ Thank the gay gods. _

 

“Sure,” Steve tries not to act too eager.

 

They enter the building, revealing how fresh and white everywhere is. They ascend two flights of stairs, turning right as they get to the end of the last flight. Bucky unlocks the apartment door that’s all the way at the end of the corridor, next to a window that shows off quite a picturesque view of the city below. When they get inside, everything is as white as the actual building hallways. There’s some coat hooks on the wall of the open plan living room, which also leads onto the kitchen. It’s not overly big, but it’s impressive.

 

“Make yourself at home,” Bucky offers.

 

Steve nods, still a little in awe. There’s a closed door opposite them, and that must be the bedroom. There isn’t much in the apartment, just a little furniture. The black couch is facing a flat screen TV, and Buck hops onto the couch and closes his eyes.

 

“Uh, shall I make some food?” The blonde mumbles, feeling awkward already.

 

Bucky opens one eye. “Sure,” he murmurs, too sleepy to say anything else.

 

Not wanting to pry too much, Steve settles on some pasta that he finds in the first cupboard he comes across. He prepares two bowls, leaving one for Bucky on the coffee table. They sit quietly for a while, as Bucky drifts in and out of sleep. He doesn’t really wake up until his phone chimes, with a message from his sister.

 

“Becks isn’t coming home tonight,” he reads out loud, his eyes barely open. “What time is it?” The brunette turns to Steve. “Why didn’t you put the TV on?” He laughs softly.

 

“I — Uh… it’s almost two. You should eat something. Let me heat up your pasta,” he offers, already getting to his feet.

 

Bucky does as he’s told, and then takes some painkillers. He sits back down on the couch with a mug of coffee, after Steve had declined one for himself. “I should head back,” Rogers announces, ignoring the scene of heavy rain that’s spattering against the living room window nearby them.

 

Shaking his head, Bucky swallows another sip of his beverage. “You can’t go out in that! Aren't you asthmatic? The subway is a good fifteen minute walk from here,” he protests.

 

“Well, yeah, but…” Steve trails off. “What if the rain doesn’t stop?” He blurts out.

 

“You can stay the night. We can watch a movie?” Bucky looks so sweet and innocent as he looks up, hope twinkling inside of his tired eyes.

 

Steve inhales sharply. “Okay,” he agrees.

 

They end up having quite a nice time, and Steve managed to stop internally freaking out so badly. They played board games whilst Rogers talked to Bucky about his studies and what he wants to do for a career. They found a notepad for the other guy to write in, and he told Steve about some of his old auditions and they laughed together.

 

It’s the middle of the night now, and Steve is sat on the couch. He’s surrounded by comfy blankets and pillows, thanks to Barnes and his kind hospitality. Rogers has always been a light sleeper, mainly due to his own health issues, but right now he’s contemplating whether to go and help Bucky with his. Eventually, he does get to his feet and brings a few cushions with him.

 

“Bucky?” He whispers, gently pushing open the bedroom door.

 

The room is pitch black, and the only light is a small line of light from the moon outside peeking through the closed curtains. He steps over to Bucky’s bed, but trips on the camp bed set up beside it — presumably for Becca. Steve bumps into the double bed that Barnes was asleep on, and the guy jolts awake.

 

“What the —“ he gasps, seeing Steve standing unintentionally creepily above him.

 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry — I, uh… I came to help,” he stammers back, metaphorically tripping over his own sentences. “Put these under your pillow.” Steve manages to say, and holds out the cushions. “It’ll help,” He whispers.

 

Bucky raises an eyebrow, but does as he’s asked. Steve begins to walk out, already feeling extremely awkward and bad for waking the poor guy up. He hears a tiny, “thank you,” before he leaves. The blonde smiles to himself, and goes back to his makeshift bed on the couch.

 

▪️


	6. Chapter 6

▪️

 

**_Sunday,_ **

 

Steve had left Bucky’s apartment quite early in the morning. He left a note on a blank page in the notebook that his host had been using to communicate last night.  **_‘Thanks for having me to stay, hope I wasn’t too much annoyance! Feel better soon. Steve :)’_ **

 

He’s now back in his dorm room,  drawing some doodles into his sketch pad whilst listening to Ria ask him different questions about Bucky.

 

“Did you cuddle?”

 

“No.”

 

“Did you want to cuddle?”

 

“... maybe.”

 

“Are you seeing him again today?”

 

“Tomorrow, on set.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Steve looks up from his work, and shuts the sketch pad with a snap. “Look. We’re barely good friends. I can’t just start googling whether he’s single or not.”

 

“Can you actually do that?” She asks, eyes wide with intrigue.

 

He shrugs his shoulders. “He probably has a girlfriend. I mean, he’s too good to be true in the first place let alone too good to be single.” Steve points out.

 

She smiles. “You have a crush,”

 

“I know, Ria,” Rogers sighs heavily.

 

“Well, let me know how it goes tomorrow! And, the moment you actually kiss him —“

 

_ “Mariette!” _

 

“Sorry…”

 

▪️

 

**_One month later._ **

 

Steve is still struggling to enjoy his internship, just as much as he was a month before this. The only good part about his day is when he sees Bucky, and that’s never often due to Clark sending him all over set to run errands or make hot drinks. For the past two weeks Barnes and Rogers have eaten lunch together in his trailer though, so that’s been a nice way to get to know one another even more. But, apart from those moments Steve sort of wishes he could quit.

 

Today is Saturday, and his shift on set is almost over. Today he’s been cleaning one of the sets they’d used on Thursday for a scene that apparently required a lot of fake grass and flowers. They’re all squished up now, and it’s Steve’s job to sweep it all away and then put them in the trash. He sighs heavily, taking a moment to breath inbetween.

 

“Knock, knock!” A familiar voice calls, and Bucky enters the set. “Need any help?” He asks.

 

Steve smiles. “Nah, I’m good. I love sweeping up fake grass on a Saturday evening,” he rolls his eyes.

 

“I have a question,” Bucky continues, taking the broom from Steve’s hands and already starting to sweep at twice his speed.

 

“Yeah?” Rogers questions, stepping back.

 

“I have this photo shoot tomorrow, uh, and I wondered if you’d wanna come watch? Like, would it be interesting for your studies? Only if you wanna,” Bucky mumbles shyly, concentrating more on sweeping as opposed to looking over at the other guy.

 

The blonde haired boy smiles again. I mean, it wouldn’t be that educational considering Steve would rather be a director and work on a set, but he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t like to experience this. Maybe a little more so just because he’d get to watch Bucky.

 

“Yeah, if that’s okay with you?” He replies.

 

“Course it is.  _ I _ asked, dork,” Bucky smirks playfully.

 

“Where is it?”

 

“Hey, how about I text you the details?” Steve almost chokes on air at this point.

 

He takes out his phone, and Bucky sweeps the last of the fake flowers into a pile. He steps over towards Steve, and takes his phone out of his hands, then types in his number. “See you tomorrow,” Rogers murmurs, trying not to act weird.

 

“Tomorrow,” Bucky smiles.

 

▪️

 

**_Sunday morning._ **

 

“Fuck,” Steve curses, almost falling over his own feet as he bolts down the stairs of his dorm building. He runs outside, and all the way to the subway. He types out a text to Bucky, letting him know he’d overslept but he’s on his way.

 

**_Steve: may or may not have overslept. on my way though_ **

 

**_Bucky: I’ll be waiting in the building, don’t worry !_ **

 

He sighs heavily, regaining his calm breathing as he steps onto the right train. Steve gets off at the same stop he does each morning he goes to set, and then continues walking until he arrives at the building that houses the photo studios. Rogers pushes open the door, and goes up to the reception desk.

 

“Hi, uh… I’m here with Buck — James Barnes?” He’s unsure as to why exactly he’d just phrased that as a question, because even the guy before him is giving him a funny look.

 

The man looks something up on his computer, then looks back up at Steve. “You aren’t on the list of personnel he’s bringing with him, Sir.” He monotones.

 

“But —“

 

“He’s with me,” Bucky’s voice suddenly sounds, and Steve can’t stop a smile from forming.

 

Looking over to where Bucky has just appeared from, the guy winks at him.  _ Winks. At. Him.  _ The receptionist then reaches across the desk and hands Steve a visitor’s pass. “C’mon,” Barnes says, as Steve thanks the man. He follows Bucky through the door he’d just poked his head out of, and then down a corridor into a room. There’s a white screen with a collection of lights pointing at it, and various people rushing around the place.

 

“So, how do I look?” Bucky asks.

 

Steve dares to look him up and down, after not having time to inspect his outfit before… not like he had been planning to, or anything. Ahem. The magazine company organising the shoot have dressed him in all black, white tee, biker boots and a leather jacket. Steve almost dies right there and then.

 

“You look,” he clears his throat. “Good.”

 

Bucky has a certain look on his face for just a moment, and it’s a look that Rogers can’t quite explain. But, it disappears as quick as it came and then he grins. “Thanks, Stevie.”

 

A few minutes later and the photographer is calling for Bucky to start the shoot. Steve takes a seat on one of the chairs by the side, and watches the event unfold. He gets to experience watching Barnes pose, change outfits and get makeup applied. The guy thanks each person who comes over to help him, and despite the amount of tasks he has to take part in, Bucky keeps on smiling.

 

The shoot takes almost two hours, and once it’s over Bucky seems tired. He walks over to Steve, now dressed in his usual clothes — some jeans, a denim jacket and a band t-shirt. “Wanna grab a bite to eat?” He offers, rubbing his eyes.

 

Steve sighs. It’s like he’s the most adorable yet breathtakingly handsome person he’s ever come across. “Sure,” he smiles, making a mental note to stop thinking about Bucky looking amazing when they’re actually standing opposite one another.

 

They find a nearby cafe to get some lunch, getting inside just in time to avoid the start of April showers. The atmosphere inside is calm, and the aroma of coffee and chocolate is one of Steve’s favourite things. They sit by a window, watching the rain fall and the people rush by.

 

“So, that wasn’t too boring… was it?” Bucky breaks the silence.

 

Rogers immediately shakes his head. “No! You did great,” he smiles, taking a sip of his coffee.

 

Bucky sighs from the relief. “Thanks,” he blushes, but Steve doesn’t notice since he’s too busy trying not to look him in the eye.

 

The pair finish their lunch, and Barnes bids Steve ‘goodbye.’ He says he’ll see him tomorrow, and Rogers reiterates that with a grin. They go their separate ways, and Steve prepares to be bombarded with questions from Ria later on.

 

▪️


	7. Chapter 7

**_2 weeks later,_ **

**_Monday morning._ **

 

Steve steps off the subway, minding his own business with his headphones plugged in. He almost receives a heart attack when someone grips his shoulder. Yanking his headphones out of his ears, Rogers spins around to become faced with Bucky, who’s grinning from ear to ear and clutching something in his other hand.

 

“Sorry, I just — I thought I’d — look, the magazine!” The brunette blurts out all at once.

 

It takes Steve a few moments to process what he’s saying, since it’s still early. He watches Barnes flick through the pages, and then eyes up the double page spread that’s been written all about Bucky. The photos look incredible, and he skim reads the small article to go with it. “That’s awesome, Buck!” He grins, not even realising his sudden nickname choice.

 

Bucky feels himself blush. “Sorry for scaring you, I got the magazine last night from my manager and I wanted you to be the next person to see it…” he trails off. “Is that weird?” Barnes scratches at the back of his neck.

 

“No,” Steve has to stop himself from over analysing this action.  _ Bucky wanted to show him his new photoshoot pretty much  _ **_first?_ ** _ Should he be reading into this, or is this genuinely something that a new friend would do? God. _

 

Sighing to himself, Bucky closes the magazine. “Okay, let’s get to set!” He beams.

 

“Wait, where’s your driver?” Steve asks, jogging to catch up with the guy.

 

“I text him not to bother today,” Buck explains, breathing a sigh of relief when they reach the top of the subway steps.

 

It doesn’t take them long to get to set, and when they arrive Clark starts yelling out his orders to both Steve and Bucky alike. “Have you been to makeup yet?” He asks Barnes, who shakes his head. “Someone get a makeup girl in here! Delilah has press today, she’s gotta leave early and we need this kiss scene done pronto!”

 

_ “Kiss scene?!” _ Both Rogers and Barnes blurt out simultaneously.

 

Clark gives them equally strange looks. “We don’t have all day! Kid, go grab the coffees.” He snaps, and Steve fights back the urge to argue.

 

He heads out to where hot beverages can be made, and tries to ignore the fact that Bucky is going to be kissing someone that isn’t him. When Steve brings back the tray of drinks, he sets them down on a table and glances across at Bucky. He’s still being attacked by various makeup brushes, whilst Delilah taps her foot impatiently beside him.

 

Thankfully, nobody tells Steve what to do next… so, he sneaks closer to set and watches the scene play out. It’s against a green screen, but Bucky has been dressed as if they’re somewhere hot. Delilah is in a flowing dress, and now Buck has his hand on her waist and they’re leaning in and — Steve feels his chest tighten, and for a moment he realises he’d forgotten to breathe. When he looks back up from grabbing his inhaler out of his pocket, the pair before him are deep in a kiss and he can’t watch any longer.

 

Rogers hurries out of the studio to get some fresh air, and leans against the building. He knows what he’s feeling. Jealousy. Pure, intense jealousy. “Fuck,” he mumbles, kicking a stray pebble across the floor. It’s clear now that the feelings he has for Bucky are more than just a dumb, little crush.

 

Before he can think about it a little more, another crew member needs his help. Steve tries his best to keep his mind away from thinking about Bucky whilst he works, but it’s hard. When lunch rolls around, he manages to escape towards the guy’s trailer. It’s like his feet are moving without him wanting them to. But, he has to do something about this. Even if it’s just telling Barnes how he feels and then quitting this damn internship for good and never seeing him again. He just has to know.

 

Steve knocks against the trailer door, and awaits an answer. When the door opens, an entire sea of nerves hits the blonde all at once. So hard that he almost falls backwards off of the steps. “I — can I come in?” He asks.

 

Stepping aside, Bucky let’s Steve walk inside before he closes the door. “Are you okay? Uh, you disappeared earlier,” the brunette mumbles.

 

“I gotta ask you — I — I gotta… can I? Fucking hell,” Steve grimaces, already feeling like a complete idiot.

 

“Steve?”

 

“I like you. I really like you,” he scrunches his eyes shut and feels his heartbeat quicken.

 

There’s a silence.

 

“I like you too.”

 

“You like you — I mean me? I, um,” Rogers clears his throat. “Can I please kiss you, please?”

 

Bucky smiles so wide, it's like legitimate sunshine beaming down on Steve’s features. He smiles back, and watches as Barnes closes the gap between them. “Between me and you,” Buck whispers, his face inching closer to Steve’s own. Their lips briefly touch, and Rogers closes his eyes. They split apart again seconds later, like it was all just a dream. “I never wanted to kiss Delilah. And, I kinda thought about kissing you to make it better.” He giggles, pressing their lips back together again afterwards.

 

Their kiss is small, but it gives Steve a whole yard full of butterflies. When they’re apart again he opens his eyes, and looks up into Bucky’s oceans. “Really?” He asks, practically breathless.

 

Bucky nods. “You kiss better,” he smirks.

 

A silence falls over them, but they still catch one another’s eye, smile and laugh, then trail their gazes down to their lips. “So,” Steve whispers, momentarily captivated by Bucky as he bites down on his bottom lip whilst still staring. “How’d you feel about, uh… relationships?”

 

“Honestly? I haven’t had one in a long time. But, I’d like to change that for you.” He sighs softly, looking down at the floor like he’s suddenly lost half of his confidence all at once.

 

“You would?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

A moment passes. “Can I ask you something though? You have the right to be offended,” Bucky mumbles.

 

Steve nods for him to go ahead. “Could we keep this between us and maybe our family, whatever, and, like, close friends? It’s just… I’m not exactly, well, “ _ out” _ yet.. and, I don’t see Clark as waving a pride flag in support anytime soon.” Barnes says, clearly feeling nervous about the question.

 

“Of course! I mean, the only person I’d honestly plan on telling would be Ria — my best friend. And, I trust her with my life, so she’d never spill.” He smiles.

 

“Wow,” Bucky breathes out. “So, I have a boyfriend now.” They both giggle together.

 

▪️

 

**_Later that evening..._ **

 

Rogers climbs the stairs to his dorm complex, but heads to Ria’s first. He knocks once, before hearing “it’s open!” She assumes it’s Steve pretty much every time, since nobody else visits her (and vice versa.)

 

“Guess what!” Steve beams, still on a high from the day. Also, Bucky had dropped him off and kissed his cheek about five minutes before this, so he’s still internally dying from that too.

 

She looks up from her laptop, and spends a good couple of minutes studying his expression. The realisation hits her all at once and she almost knocks her laptop over  upon jumping off the bed. “You asked him?!” Ria squees.

 

“Even better,” Steve grins. “We kissed.”

 

“Holy shit. You did? So, you’re dating now?” She bombards, then pulls him into a squish hug. “They grow up so fast,” Ria mutters.

 

“I’m literally older than you,” Rogers chuckles, ruffling her hair — he’s taller than her by two inches, and always loves to point that out too.

 

She steps backwards, and flattens her hair back down again. “By two weeks and four days, Rogers.” Her eyebrows raise and she folds her arms across her chest.

 

It isn’t long before Ria breaks into a smile again, and then she sighs happily. “Okay, I really gotta finish this paper… but, it’s due in on Wednesday. So, Thursday please tell me all about it?!” The girl asks.

 

“Of course,” Steve smiles. “Now, quit slacking and get back to work!” He smirks, turning to leave her room.

 

He shuts the door behind him, and realises he’s still smiling.

 

What a day.

 

▪️


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven’t updated in so long! There’s been a lot going on with my family, but I’m trying to work on updating all of my fics over the next few days. :)

▪️

 

The next day Bucky texts Steve to let him know he’s waiting above the subway for him. When they see each other there’s somewhat of an awkward atmosphere on what they should do, but Barnes soon cracks it. “Like I said… haven’t dated in a while,” he chuckles nervously. “Uh, you’re okay with holding hands? Usually, I guess I’d say no… but, um, I’d like to try it? Fuck, I sound like an idiot.”

 

“No, no. You don’t,” the blonde reassures him. “I, um, I haven’t actually had a date since high school.” He feels himself blush from the embarrassment.

 

Bucky gently laces their fingers together. “That’s okay,” he says.

 

They walk to the studios together, just chatting about the dog they’d spotted on the sidewalk. The pair almost forget to let go of one another when they reach the studios, and burst into nervous laughter when they realise. Bucky holds the door open for Steve, and then they get to work.

 

It isn’t until lunchtime when they get to see each other again. Steve knocks on Bucky’s trailer door, and they eat together. “So,” Bucky begins, taking a sip from his smoothie first. “Uh, we haven’t had an actual date yet.”

 

“Oh my god, we’re the worst couple ever,” Steve laughs, and Bucky smiles.

 

“Wanna go on one?” The brunette adds.

 

Rogers feels himself begin to blush. “Sure… I could think of an idea,” he offers.

 

The pair are soon back at work again, but both still feeling the happiness of the events that have recently unfolded.

 

▪️

 

When Rogers arrives back at his place, he finally has time to relax and go over what’s happened. Oh, he told Bucky he’d think of a date idea… but, now it comes to it he has no goddamn clue.  _ Would Bucky like to go to a fancy restaurant? Steve certainly can’t afford that. Would he like to stR gaze? That would mess with Steve’s allergies for sure. God. _

 

He pulls his phone from his pocket, and sighs.

 

**_Steve: this is going to sound stupid, but I can’t think of a date idea… do you have any preferences?_ **

 

**_Bucky: uhhhh_ **

 

**_Steve: thank you for your wisdom, James_ **

 

**_Bucky: rude_ **

 

**_Bucky: it depends, what do you like doing?_ **

 

**_Steve: watching Disney_ **

 

**_Bucky: that’s cute_ **

 

**_Steve: shut up_ **

 

**_Bucky: movie night?_ **

 

**_Steve: wait,, for real?_ **

 

**_Bucky: Saturday night, my place, snacks and we can talk?_ **

 

**_Steve: that sounds like the best date to ever… date_ **

 

**_Bucky: dork_ **

 

**_▪️_ **

 

**_Saturday evening._ **

 

The couple have been planning their first date over the past few days, mainly during lunch breaks and over rest. Bucky had offered for Steve to stay over, so he’d brought a small bag this morning… but, instead of packing night clothes, he’d just packed for the next morning.

 

“You can borrow some of my clothes,” Barnes smiles, whilst the other guy realises his mistake, sat on the ground searching through his backpack and muttering curse words at himself.

 

Steve looks up, and sheepishly back. “Thanks,” he mumbles softly.

 

“But, don’t pretend this wasn’t a ploy just to wear one of my comfiest sweaters,” Bucky smirks.

 

They leave set without being noticed, and Bucky drives them both back to his apartment. When they enter, Rogers immediately spies the stack of DVDs and bowls of snacks that have been set out on the coffee table. He grins, and looks over at Bucky.

 

“I’ll go get you a sweater and stuff,” the brunette says, walking into his bedroom.

 

He reemerges with some grey sweatpants and a navy blue, knitted sweater. “Here,” Bucky hands it to Steve.

 

The blonde gets changed in the bathroom, and Bucky does the same, but in the bedroom. When Steve walks out, Barnes has his back turned.

 

“Don’t laugh,” Steve mumbles.

 

“Why?” Buck asks, turning around. An immediate smirk spreads over his face, as he looks Steve up and down. The sweater reaches just above the guy’s knees. “Okay, in your defence it’s an oversized sweater for  _ me _ .”

 

“Well, it’s comfy. So, I have stolen it.” Steve announces.

 

Laughing together, the pair settle down on the couch. They order a pizza before starting the movie, and then a slightly awkward silence begins to form.

 

“So… how's my choice of movie? Since you chose last time,” Bucky asks.

 

The blonde looks away from the screen, and stops humming to ‘The Circle of Life,’ looking at Bucky now instead. “It’s a good choice,” he replies honestly.

 

Barnes throws a piece of popcorn at Steve. “Tell me something about you. Something quirky, or cute — you’re really cute,” Bucky giggles.

 

The other guy hides his face inside of Bucky’s sweater — mainly because it smells good, but also because he’s blushing like crazy right now — so, Buck throws another piece of popcorn. “Hey!” Steve re-emerges out of the material, and folds his arms across his chest.

 

“You’re just proving my point, you know that, right?”

 

“Shut up.” Steve snaps, but then smiles. “Uh… I once broke my arm trying to save a teddy bear from a tree.”

 

Bucky bursts out laughing. “How old were you?”

 

“Eight,” Steve snorts. “Me and Ria were out in her backyard, and I don’t know why… but, for some reason we’d thrown it, and it’s landed in a tree. I think we were playing catch. Anyway, she was crying and I thought if we told her Mom we’d get told off… so, I tried to ‘save’ it myself. Then I fell out of the fuckin’ tree,”

 

“A true hero,” Barnes laughs.

 

Steve rolls up his sleeve, and shows the brunette his right arm. “All this for Mr. Fluffy.”

 

“That’s… wow,” Bucky chuckles, then Rogers moves the slight scarring out of sight.

 

“Now, tell me somethin’ about you,” the blonde counteracts.

 

Bucky looks deep in thought for a few moments. “I know fluent Romanian,” he says.

 

Rogers eyebrows raise. “I’m impressed… okay, now say something in Romanian!”

 

“Umm… Steve este foarte dulce, și el este mei.”

 

“Translation?”

 

“In my defence, I haven’t been back in years… I lived there as a kid, and that probably didn’t make any sense. So, no,” Barnes smirks.

 

Steve pouts. But, before he can insist any further there’s a knock at the door. “Pizza!” Bucky exclaims, jumping off the couch and making a direct beeline for the door, almost sliding over in his socks.

 

Laughing quietly to himself, Rogers reaches for the remote and rewinds the DVD. I mean he isn’t going to miss all of those precious minutes of Lion King that they’d just talked over.

 

After eating pizza and discussing further into their lives, the movie is almost finished. They’ve also devoured the snacks (including the ones they’d used as ammo amidst all the eating), so now they’re extremely sleepy. Somehow, Steve has lied down against Bucky’s arm, and a moment later the other guy is moving it to place it over his shoulders.

 

“Comfy?” Barnes mumbles sleepily.

 

Steve nods back. “Don’t let me go to sleep, I gotta take out my contacts,” he murmurs, but still doesn’t move to do anything about it.

 

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” Bucky muses, more to himself than anything.

 

“Full on dork, me.” Rogers replies, sitting up.

 

He stretches, and then walks over to his backpack. A few minutes later he turns back around, sporting a pair of black framed glasses as opposed to how he looks during the day. “Tada!” Steve jokes.

 

Bucky smiles softly. “They really suit you,”

 

“Thanks,” The blonde knows that he’s blushing, but quite frankly he’s too tired to care. He fits himself comfortably within the space between Bucky’s arm and the back of the couch cushions, and then snuggles up against his chest. That’s the last thing he remembers before falling into a slumber.

 

▪️


	9. Chapter 9

Just over a week has passed since Bucky and Steve had their first date. It almost still seems too good to be true — sharing lunch everyday, Barnes driving Steve home after their days draw to a close. Yesterday they even shared an evening walk together, and it was just so peaceful. Of course, Ria has been fully caught up with the information, and she’s more than happy for the couple.

 

When Rogers meets Bucky above the subway this morning, he has a rather similar expression written across his face as to the same one he had when he was holding his magazine spread. “Steve!” He rushes towards him, knocking the backwards a little from the force of grabbing him by the shoulder. “Oh, god, sorry! Are you okay?” Barnes blurts out.

 

“Jesus,” Steve laughs. “What is it?”

 

“Goddamn Buzzfeed saw my magazine article, and they wanna interview me! They wanna put me out there, Stevie!” Bucky beams.

 

His smile is contagious, because now the blonde is smiling with him. “That’s great, Buck!” Steve replies.

 

“They’ve scheduled it for this Thursday… do you wanna come?” The other guy asks, as they link hands and begin walking to set together.

 

“You sure?”

 

“Course! I want you to experience this with me.” Bucky replies happily.

 

“Then I’d love to.”

 

▪️

 

When Thursday is close to arriving, Steve offers to stay over Bucky’s place on Wednesday night so that they can travel together. He hadn’t realised the guy suffers from nerves so badly though… as now he’s promising to help him prepare too.

 

“Do you think they’ll like me?”

 

“Buck,” Steve says softly. He gets up from the couch, and stops the guy from pacing by gently taking him by the hand. “You’re  _ really _ hard not to like,” they both laugh quietly.

 

“Thanks,” he sighs. “I think I’m gonna try get some sleep.”

 

“You and me both,” Rogers nods, pushing his glasses higher up his nose.

 

They’re being picked up by Bucky’s actual manager at eight am, since the Buzzfeed representee is meeting them downtown at around ten. So, when morning arrives they don’t need to rush, since their outfits are already picked out and a pancake mix has already been prepared.

 

Both of them sit in the back of the car in silence. Their cover story is the cliche ‘just friends,’ and Bucky’s manager didn’t question it. The reading plays softly in the background, and Bucky gums along to try and distract himself from how scared he’s feeling. Upon arrival they enter the fanciest looking building Steve has ever seen, and they’re met by a preppy looking woman. She explains that their interview will be stress free and funny, and that it’ll all be filmed to gain an audience around Bucky.

 

“I mean, young fans are what you’ll want at first — the internet savvy kinda people. We’ll ask you some questions, post the video, they’ll love getting to know the real you.” She says, leading Bucky up some stairs.

 

Steve and the manager follow closely behind, and they all enter a smaller room together. There’s a table with one chair set up in front of a light purple screen, and Bucky gets told to sit there. Once the interview starts, he seems to relax a little more. The woman is genuinely nice, and she asks him questions that have all of the, laughing. He tells a few stories about why he wanted to act, and how he won an acting award as a kid. It all goes really well, and by the end of it Bucky is smiling extremely wide.

 

The manager had a call a few minutes ago, and the only other camera and sound guys have left to carry their equipment away. So, it’s now just Bucky and Steve in the room. Or… so they thought, when Rogers uttered that Buck should be proud, and reached up on his tiptoes to give him a quick kiss. They’d forgotten all about Tara, the woman who’d just interviewed him.

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she gasps, looking up from her phone as she almost walks into them during her exit.

 

Both Steve and Bucky jump apart like they’d just electrocuted one another, their eyes wide with shock.

 

“You didn’t, uh, mention a boyfriend in the interview — of course, that’s private — it’s just, would you ever consider talking about it? It’d be a nice addition for LGBTQ+ viewers,” she smiles.

 

Bucky gulps. “I — I — um, nobody knows,” he stammers.

 

The door handle to the room rattles, and Barnes clenches his fists out of nerves.

 

“Then your secret's safe with me,” Tara whispers.

 

▪️

 

That night Bucky and Steve sit beside one another on his double bed, both dressed in casual clothing — Rogers dressed in one of Bucky’s sweaters again. “Steve, do you think she’ll post about us online?” He whispers, after they’d been quiet for about ten minutes, just holding hands and rubbing thumbs across one another’s palms.

 

“She seemed genuine when she said she’d keep us a secret… so, I don’t think so.” He replies. “But, if she does, we’ll work it out.”

 

“Yeah, we will,” Bucky agrees.

 

They bid one another ‘goodnight’ with a kiss, then Rogers retires to the couch. It seems a little too early to share a bed yet, and Steve is glad they didn’t have to make it awkward by having a long conversation about it.

 

The interview is due to go online at the weekend, after it’s been edited and the article has been written. Steve has faith in the woman who’d interviewed Bucky, and he hopes it isn’t false hope. He falls asleep with a slight knot of worry in his stomach, silently hoping that their relationship won’t get ruined just as it’s getting started.

 

▪️

 

Filming seems to be busier than usual come Saturday, with Bucky and Delilah shooting scenes in three different settings. They run halfway through lunch too, so Steve doesn’t get to sit with his boyfriend like they usually do. In fact, he’s sent all over the place to complete different jobs, so they don’t even reunite until the end of the day.

 

“You okay?” Steve asks, following him towards the parking lot.

 

Bucky nods. “Just kinda nervous… the interview should go online within the hour,” he replies, checking his watch.

 

“Want me to come over?” Steve questions — he’s spending more time there than back at his own dorm nowadays.

 

The guy sighs softly. “Would you? I mean… only if you want,”

 

“Don’t be an idiot,” Steve jokes, actually making the guy smile.

 

They travel back to his together, and eat dinner whilst awaiting the email from Tara wing the link to the interview. Sure enough, come seven pm there’s a new email waiting inside of Bucky’s inbox. The pair read the article and watch the video together, smiling and laughing at some of the moment they witness.

 

“Buck, that was amazing! People are gonna love you,” Steve blushes profusely at his choice of words, but thankfully Barnes is too overwhelmed to register them.

 

He sighs happily, and shuts his laptop. Leaning back into the cushion of the couch, Bucky closes his eyes. They didn’t once mention his relationship status, and everything turned out really good. The interview was funny and Bucky came across as a nice person — at least, he thinks so, and so does Steve. The article was written about his upcoming movie and about how Barnes has always wanted this to be his career. The link is apparently on pretty much every single social media sight… so, maybe this really will be his big break.

 

“I don’t even have a Twitter,” Barnes mumbles to himself.

 

Steve laughs. “Neither do I,”

 

“Should I make one?”

 

“I guess… if you wanna broaden your audience,” he adds supportively.

 

The pair help one another to work it out, and Bucky even sends an email back to Tara thanking her and asking for further advice on how to build up an audience. She lets him know that he probably should create a Twitter account, so she can add it to the article as well as his Instagram. So, that’s what Barnes and his boyfriend spend the night doing. Then, they get a little distracted as they start making out on the couch… so, all in all a  _ very _ successful night.

 

▪️

 

In the morning the first thing Bucky does is take the chance to check how well the article is doing throughout the day too, so he’s extremely surprised to see that he already has one hundred followers on Twitter and an extra fifty on Instagram too. “Woah, they’re saying they really like me!” He calls out to Steve, who’s brushing his teeth.

 

The blonde comes hurrying in once he’s done, and hugs Bucky around his neck from behind the couch. “You’re getting famous already,” Steve jokes, kissing him on the cheek.

 

Bucky blushes lightly, then the blonde joins him on the couch. They spend the rest of the day relaxing together and cuddling, whilst Barnes occasionally checks in on his social media. It all seems to be going well, which is a huge relief for them both.

 

Barnes offers for his boyfriend to stay over another night, so they can travel together to set again. When morning comes they both get ready separately, then decide to get breakfast along their way to the studio.

 

Both of them have a fairly busy day again on set, and this time Steve goes back to his dorm. It turns out Ria has already seen the interview — it came up on her Tumblr, before Rogers had even had a chance to show her. “I mean, it’s not like I was  even searching for it yet!” The redhead explains, staring at the skittles atop of her duvet, as she sorts them into colours.

 

“What did you think?” Steve asks, sat cross legged opposite her and completely unphased to her snack sorting preferences.

 

She looks up. “He’s very sweet,” Ria replies. “Definitely your type.”

 

“Thanks,” Steve grins bashfully.

 

“So,” Ria continues. “Do you think you’re gonna move in with him? I mean, you gotta move out by July.”

 

Rogers’ facial expression suddenly switches. “I — Fuck, that’s literally slipped my mind.” He runs his hand down his face. “I’ve been so occupied with this internship, I’d forgotten about even searching for a place… or a job.” His eyes start to sting.

 

“Steve! Don’t panic!” She gasps. “You still have three months… I mean, there’s always your parents’ place for backup. Your Mom did say,” she chews against her bottom lip, knowing the answer already.

 

He shakes his head.

 

“Whatever happens, my Mom would be more than happy to lend the spare room to you,” Ria says softly.

 

He sighs heavily, trying not to think about the fact that her Mom now lives three States away. “Thanks.”

 

▪️

 

Steve manages to bag himself a job interview for the weekend, after a few sleepless nights and stressed out days. He hasn’t slept over at Bucky’s since Sunday, and it’s not Thursday afternoon. They’re about to meet for lunch, and Rogers has just reopened the email letting him know that he’s been selected for the interview. To say he’s relieved is a damn understatement.

 

He knocks on the trailer door, then walks in. The brunette is already sat on the couch, eating some rice from a cardboard container. “Steve, you okay?” Bucky asks straight away, sounding genuinely worried through his mouthful of Chinese food.

 

Rogers nods wearily, then takes a seat on the floor. He crosses his legs, before reaching up onto the table to grab his own box that Bucky has selected for him. “I gotta job interview this weekend — that’s what I’ve been doing recently, sorry if I’ve been off with you.” He explains, opening up the food box.

 

“It’s alright… but, you know you could be told me, right?” He adds.

 

“Yeah, I know. I just wanted to get one first. You’ve got stuff to worry about too, y’know?” Steve replies, twirling some noodles around his plastic fork.

 

They eat for a few minutes without talking, then Bucky continues. “Are you commissions and that newspaper not paying enough?” He asks — Steve had told him a while back that’s how he gets his money, by selling his art online and to a local newspaper. He draws cartoons and little comics for them, but to be honest it’s never been exceptionally good money.

 

“No, it’s enough to get by… it’s just, I need a new place. I’ve graduated, so… yeah.” Steve trails off, using his food as a good excuse to leave it at that.

 

The trailer falls quiet for a few minutes, apart from the sound of cutlery and chewing. “You could move in with me for a while,” Bucky says so quietly, that it’s almost a whisper.

 

Rogers is unsure if he’s saying that just to be kind. “It’s okay… I really like what we are right now. I don’t think we’re ready yet,”

 

“I agree, but… if you really need me, I’m here. I mean, if you’re getting paid we could just start sharing the shopping bill and stuff. It’s be easier and cheaper for the both of us in a way — I mean, yeah there might be extra water being used and stuff, but we are almost living together right now. I know it’s only been a month, and I’m so happy with where we are right now. But, the offer is there.” He sounds like he’s thought these words out before saying them, and his brow is even still furrowed now.

 

Steve smiles. “That means a lot. Thanks, Buck.”

 

“Let me know how the interview goes,” he replies.

 

“I will, they’re a family run business so I told them I can help out Thursdays and Sundays.”

 

▪️

 

Ria walks Steve to the Sunday afternoon interview, and has a coffee whilst she waits for him. It ends up going a lot better than he’d imagined — the husband and wife who run the place have just adopted a baby, so they have less time to put into the shop themselves and they’re looking to employ good and honest people. Steve now has the job, and he’s going to work Thursdays on the seven thirty a.m. opening shift, then close down at half past seven in the evening. And, he’ll also work Sunday’s nine until closing at half past five. He was honest about his full time internship and not great health, but they seemed very understanding and humble about it all. So, Steve is actually pleased with it all. Plus, he’ll have his commissions still, so hopefully this’ll all work out great.

 

“See, I told you it’d all be fine!” Steve's best friend beams, as they walk down the street together.

 

“Yeah… Bucky offered his place for me to stay permanently.” He says, trying not to make a big deal out it, but jumping when she gasps.

 

Ria stops walking, and turns to him. “That’s quite soon,” she says.

 

“Yeah, he said that too. But, he said we could just share bills and try make it work. He seemed so sincere about helping me,” Steve sighs.

 

His friend takes a few moments to register this. “Why’re you so down about it?”

 

“I don’t want stuff to move too fast — I mean, we kissed before we even had each other’s numbers.”

 

“People work in different ways…  _ so _ many different ways,” she chuckles lightly.

 

He smiles the tiniest smile back at her. “I told him I’d see how the interview went. I’m just worried he’ll hate living with me full time,” Steve’s voice grows small.

 

Ria pulls him into a quick hug. “Talk to him about it, okay?”

 

He nods. “Okay… Thanks, Ri.”

 

And, talking is exactly what the couple do the next lunchtime. Bucky seems genuinely shocked towards Steve’s main reason as to why he doesn’t want to move in with Barnes. “Why would you annoy me?” His head tilts sideways a little, and it’s honestly rather adorable.

 

“I mean — I have pills that’ll take up room, I get sick a lot… just, I’m nervous we aren’t doing this in right way. Is that stupid?”

 

“No,” Buck reassures him. “I feel the same way. What if you didn’t like the way I make breakfast?” He giggles.

 

“Your pancakes  _ are _ a pretty good thing wake up to every morning… I mean, so are you to be fair.” Steve smirks.

 

“Let’s just try it. Make it work.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Bucky nods eagerly. “We can bring your stuff to mine this weekend, Deal? And, if for some reason you hate my breakfast making skills and I get pissed off at your immune system we can go our separate ways… but, I warn you, I’m gonna take care of you.”

 

“Is that a threat?” Steve raises a single eyebrow.

 

“That’s a promise, dork.”

 

They both laugh, and then finish their lunches. It’s soon back to work for them after their small break, and then they meet up again afterwards. Steve let’s Ria know of his new plan, and she texts back that she’s more than pleased with the outcome for them both. Now the couple just have to wait until the weekend to start acting on this plan… and, Ria agrees to help them too.

 

▪️


	10. Chapter 10

Due to working all day Saturday, unfortunately the trio only have the whole of Sunday to move Steve’s things. They’ve already sorted it out with the college, and Ria has a family friend who’s looking to buy a single bed, so that’s sorted out. Steve and Ria had sorted his items into boxes on Thursday, and Barnes knows a guy who owns a truck.

 

They pile everything into the back, and then get into the car. “Guys, this is Sam,” Barnes introduces the male who’s sat in the driver’s seat. “We graduated acting school together,” Bucky explains.

 

“If anyone asks, I did better than him.” The guy smirks, and Buck rolls his eyes.

 

They get to Bucky’s place without any delay, then begin to carry everything upstairs. Most of the things are art supplies and clothes, so nothing too heavy. Steve also has an easel that Barnes had insisted Steve was not to sell, and that it could most definitely fit in his living room. But, when Rogers was at college he usually kept it stored away, as living inside such a small bedroom wasn’t very convenient for painting on a medium sized easel at the best of times… let alone when his room was mostly a mess anyway.

 

So, Sam and Barnes are both carrying it up the stairs, whilst Ria and Steve follow behind with the last boxes of clothing. “Jesus, don’t drop it!” Buck yells up to his friend, as they turn a corner.

 

“I ain’t dropping nothing!” Sam yells back, as they prepare to climb the last flight of stairs together.

 

“PIVOT!!!” Bucky suddenly screeches, and Steve trips himself up due to laughing way too hard to walk.

 

The four of them somehow manage to make it to the apartment whilst practically crying from the laughter, and the little blonde actually has to use his inhaler when they’re inside. Collapsing onto the couch, Steve sighs.

 

“Thanks for all your help, guys.” He says, looking up at the three people standing above him.

 

Bucky grins, and offers him a hand to help him up. “Anyone up for some lunch?” He asks, obviously earning the enthusiasm of everyone around him right away.

 

They all head to a nearby cafe and grab some takeaway food, deciding to sit in the park due to the slightly warmer weather that they’ve been having this weekend. They all talk a little more, and Sam tells them stories from his and Bucky’s acting school days.

 

“Hey, how’d you add shit to your Instagram story?” Barnes frowns at his phone.

 

Steve rolls his eyes, and takes it from him. “Oh, c’mon, like you use yours.” Ria scoffs, snatching the device from her best friend next.

 

“Smile!” She exclaims, snapping a selfie of the four of them.

 

She hands it back to Bucky a few minutes later. “Your welcome,” Ria smiles, staring down at her nails.

 

Everyone stays sat down for quite a while, but as they’re just about to leave a girl comes up to them. “Uh, excuse me… are you James?” She looks down shyly at Bucky, who’s in a complete state of confusion.

 

“Yeah…” he stands up.

 

“Can we take a selfie? I loved your Buzzfeed video, you seemed so nice!” The girl beams happily, holding out her phone.

 

Bucky’s mouth falls open for a moment out of the shock, then he tries to shake it off and act casual. “Oh, sure! Thanks!” He replies, snapping the photo for the girl. “Uh, what’s your name?”

 

“I’m Faye.”

 

“Well, I’m Bucky… and, these are my friends — Steve, Sam and Ria.” He introduces everyone standing awkwardly behind him.

 

“Nice to meet you! Have a great day, everyone.” Faye smiles sweetly, then hurries off.

 

Bucky still looks in shock, and Steve is the only one who silently observes the brunette’s trembling hands. “Hey, Mr. Famous!” Sam thankfully breaks the ice, slapping his friend on the back.

 

“I didn’t even add the location,” Ria comments, sounding impressed.

 

“Well, I’m sure that was a fluke. I mean —“

 

“Yeah, maybe not…” Ria shows her phone screen to everyone. It’s of a Twitter account who are notorious for making things go viral with their tweets. ‘This upcoming inside star is heart eyes!!’ reads the tweet, that was sent eleven hours ago. It’s already has ten thousand likes.

 

The trio stare at it. “Fuck,” Sam mutters. “Buzzfeed, Twitter viral… what next, huh?” He grins.

 

“Do you think I might even get another interview?” Barnes whispers, too overwhelmed to process most of what has just happened.

 

Steve smiles. “You gotta,” he says back.

 

▪️

 

On Monday Bucky has a meeting with his manager for the whole of their lunch break, which somewhat saddens Steve, but he hopes it’s good news. So, he waits for the end of the day to be told — they can’t exactly just stand and chat whilst he’s filming and all.

 

“I have a radio interview with Boston local next week!” Barnes grins from ear to ear, wrapping Steve in a hug.

 

They stand inside of his trailer, having the small cuddle celebration… which turns into a kiss initiated from Steve, and then reciprocated by Bucky. This turns into a lot more kissing than they’ve  _ ever _ done, with giggling in between breaths and knocking magazines off of the table. But, they don’t care. Their hairs are messy and their clothes are all ruffled. But, the both of them are so full of genuine happiness that it’s hilarious to them both. By the end of it they’re both panting from laughing and kissing so hard, as they lie with their backs  against the floor, hand in hand.

 

“I’d like to just put it out there that that was definitely a high point in our relationship.” Bucky says through an exhaled breath, his voice husky.

 

Steve smirks. “I’ll second that, please.” He replies.

 

The both of them lie still for a while, catching their breath before getting up again. “Hey,” Buck says softly. “Let’s go home.”

 

When they get back to his apartment they change into different clothes, and it isn’t until Steve looks in the bathroom mirror that he realises Barnes have given him a hickey right on his collarbone.

 

“You gave me a hickey!” He exclaims, rushing into the bedroom to show it off.

 

Bucky is halfway through tugging on a sweater, before he can take a look. “Wow, I did… sorry?” He half laughs, but sort of looks concerned.

 

“No, no! It’s fine, it’s just…” The blonde trails off, beginning to look reserved all of a sudden. “I’ve never had one before,” he almost whispers.

 

“Well, I feel honoured to be the first to give you one.” Barnes says happily, brushing Steve’s bangs out of his eyes so that he can place a kiss upon the centre of his forehead.

 

“Thanks,” Rogers closes his eyes, leaning into the other man’s chest.

 

▪️

 

It’s been just over two weeks since Steve has started his job. The whole thing has been extremely exhausting amongst the internship, but it’s also been a good challenge. The day is Wednesday now, and it’s late evening. The couple have just finished dinner, and Bucky is busy doing the dishes. He’s had the radio interview since then, and the magazine who first took the photos of him posted more about him on their Instagram a few days ago. So, he’s gaining new followers and fans by the hour still.

 

“Bucky?” Steve asks.

 

The guy appears above the couch in seconds. “Yeah?” He asks.

 

“I know we haven’t shared a bed yet… but, I feel like we haven’t seen one another properly for so long, and I wanna be beside you.” Rogers mumbles sleepily.

 

Barnes smiles. “Well, then. Let’s go,” he walks around the couch to help Steve up. The guy is dressed in one of Bucky’s sweaters again, of course.

 

They get ready for bed then snuggle under the duvet together. Steve falls asleep within minutes, but Bucky lies there playing with his hair for almost an hour before dropping off himself.

 

He stays asleep for quite a few hours, until stirring awake within the early hours of the morning. Bucky sits up, planning to go to the bathroom, when he stops. He squints through the darkness down at Steve, almost forgetting they’d slept in the same bed for the first time. “Stevie?” He whispers, reaching down to see what the guy is doing.

 

He’s shivering in his sleep, but when Bucky touches his skin it’s much too warm to the touch. “Steve, wake up.” He gently shakes him by the shoulder.

 

Eventually, Rogers gasps awake. “Woah, it’s just me.” Bucky says, helping him to get into a sitting position. “Stay here, I’m gonna get you some medicine.”

 

He heads into the bathroom, and finds some Aspirin in the cabinet. There isn’t enough left to last Steve the whole of tomorrow though, so Bucky makes a mental note to go to the store in the morning. After filling up a glass of water, he returns to the bedroom. “Here,” Buck says, handing the items over.

 

Steve seems too out of it all to question Bucky’s motives, and he just takes the pills before lying back down. “Hey, Wait a second,” Barnes mutters, tugging the sweater over the blonde’s head.

 

“That’s mine!” Steve yelps sadly.

 

“Well…” Bucky mumbles, shifting the duvet so it’s no longer covering the blonde up.

 

Rogers pouts. “It’s for your own good,” the brunette insists, sitting down next to him.

 

Thankfully, Steve falls back to sleep quite easily. Leaving Bucky awake next to him, hoping that he’ll be okay in the morning.

 

▪️

 

The next morning, Steve doesn’t wake up until ten. Barnes had fallen asleep again a few hours after he’d gotten up to help his boyfriend, so he doesn’t even wake until half past eight. He doesn’t want to leave the apartment until the other guy wakes up though, so he has some breakfast and then showers. After watching an episode of ‘Will and Grace,’ he hears Rogers waking up.

 

“Steve, you okay?” Bucky asks, hurrying into the bedroom.

 

“Yeah,” Barnes raises his eyebrows when Steve replies. Because, he sounds terrible and 101%  _ not _ okay in the slightest.

 

The blonde squints up at his boyfriend. “What?”

 

“You don't  _ look _ okay,”

 

“Well, stop looking.” Steve huffs, folding his arms across his chest.

 

Bucky chuckles slightly. “I’m gonna go out and get some more medicine, okay? Will you be alright here on your own?” He asks.

 

The other guy nods slowly. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Steve replies.

 

“Sure?”

 

“Positive.”

 

Barnes knows that he’s lying, but for now he needs to get the items to make Steve feel better, so that’s his current priority. He grabs his wallet and coat, and puts some sneakers on. “I’ll be back soon! Call if you need me!” Bucky calls out, before leaving out of the door.

 

▪️


	11. Chapter 11

Steve is just about to drop back off to sleep on the couch, when the front door bursts open. At first, he assumes that it’s just Bucky rushing back to get him some medicine. But, then he hears the guy struggling for breaths and immediately realises that something is wrong. Forgetting about his extreme lack of energy, Steve jumps to his feet and rushes over. He pushes the door shut with one hand, then goes to Barnes’ side.

 

He’s standing there, clutching two bags in his hands so tightly that his knuckles have turned white. And, he’s just staring at the floor, face down. “Bucky, look at me. What’s wrong?” The blonde asks softly.

 

When Bucky looks up, Steve feels his heart sink. There’s tears running down his face. “It — it was all fine, but — but then,” he chokes out all at once, each breath still causing hyperventilation.

 

“Bucky, take a breath. C’mon, in and out. Nice and slow,” Steve says, carefully prying the bags out of his hands. He puts them down on the floor, then takes each of Bucky’s hands in his own.

 

The brunette tries to control his breathing, but avoids looking his boyfriend in the eyes. “They — there were paparazzi guys, they asked me questions and — and I saw fans before, but they were nice… the guys, they followed me and I tried to be nice and they weren’t even mean and I couldn’t breathe and I can’t breathe, Steve.” Bucky chokes out a sob.

 

“You’re okay. Just sit down with me, okay? Now, slow breaths.” Rogers helps them both to the floor, and he lets Bucky cry into his shoulder.

 

He rubs little circles around Barnes’ back, waiting for him to regain a normal breathing pattern before he even thinks about letting go. After about five minutes that seemed more like an eternity, Bucky himself moves backwards. He shuffles back and leans up against the wall, then wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his coat.

 

“Fuck, I — I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, eyes wide with shock and realisation as to his actions.

 

Steve smiles a little. “There’s nothing to apologise for,” he exhales heavily, realising that getting caught up in calming Bucky down has also exhausted him.

 

“What was that?” Bucky whispers, fear glazed over his usually joyful eyes of blue.

 

“I’d say you had a small panic attack,” the blonde replies truthfully. “But, it’s okay. Ria has them too, sometimes.”

 

“Is that how you knew what to do?”

 

Steve nods.

 

“I don’t want one again,” Bucky sniffs.

 

“We can work through that,” Rogers says back.

 

They stay sat on the floor for another few minutes, until Bucky is ready to get up. He helps Steve to his feet, and they retire to the couch instead. “I should be looking after you,” the brunette sounds angry at himself.

 

“Let’s just watch some TV,” Rogers suggests, wanting to distract him for a while.

 

Silently agreeing with a nod, Buck hands him the remote. He then retrieves the bags of shopping and empties them out on the kitchen counter, bringing another glass of water towards his boyfriend. “Sorry,” he mumbles again.

 

“Hey, stop apologising,” Steve says.

 

“So —“

 

They both start laughing. Bucky sits beside Steve, pulling him into a hug. He ruffles his hair, smiling when he guesses that the guy has ‘borrowed’ his coconut shampoo again. After pressing a small kiss to the top of his head, Bucky then closes his eyes. He can feel the warmth of Steve up against him, and he soon drifts off to sleep.

 

▪️

 

For the rest of the day they relax together, and then retire to bed early. Thankfully, due to how tired Bucky felt after the events from the morning he’d managed to sleep through the night. Up until around two am, when he wakes up and hears Steve still awake in the living room. He rubs his eyes, and climbs out of bed. Upon entering the same room as the blonde, the sound of coughing gets considerably louder.

 

“Steve?” Bucky calls out, walking around to the front of the couch. “Are you okay?”

 

The guy nods, but he can’t even talk. “Steve, god. Should I get anything for you? Do you need to go to the hospital?” Barnes asks, reaching up to brush his hair out of his face.

 

“No,” Steve manages. “Bucky —“ he fails to finish whatever he’s trying to say, and just starts coughing all over again. Steve shakes up his inhaler again, trying to control his breathing and not look completely incompetent in front of his boyfriend.

 

Barnes is still crouched down in front of him, worry written all over his face. “What can I do?” He asks.

 

“Nothing — I told you,” Rogers tries his hardest to speak in coherent sentences, but each time his breath hitches and he stops talking. He clenches his jaw and tries to take deep breaths. “You shouldn’t be with me.” Steve finally chokes out.

 

Bucky grabs his hand. “I want to be here. To take care of you. I told  _ you _ that,” he says softly, and reaches up to wipe a few tears from Steve’s flushed cheeks.

 

He gets up onto the couch and sits beside Steve. “Okay?” Bucky says. “You’re stuck with me, I guess.” The brunette smirks.

 

Steve manages the smallest smile. He nods, and closes his eyes. Barnes doesn’t leave until he’s sure that Steve is going to be okay, when he’s snoring and breathing a little better again. But, when he goes back to bed and leaves the door wide open. Just in case.

 

▪️

 

The next day Bucky offers to stay home and look after Steve, but the blonde insists he goes to set without him. It’s not like they’ll miss the intern over the damn lead. Barnes makes him promise to go to the doctor though, so that’s where he’s sat right now.

 

At least Bucky will have peace of mind knowing Steve’s been given some antibiotics, so the morning hasn’t gone too bad afterall. The blonde heads home in a cab, definitely unable to walk further than about two metres still. He rests for the whole day, fulfilling his promise to his boyfriend in no longer overworking himself… although he did point out that Barnes is working quite hard too, but of course he didn’t want to hear it.

 

A small twang of anxiety rattles Steve’s insides when he hears the front door open later that evening, but thankfully Bucky enters with a little smile on his face. “How’re you feelin’? I missed you!” He beams, hurrying over to the couch and enveloping the other guy in a warm hug.

 

“Better, actually,” Rogers says into his shoulder. “Well, uh. Apart from —“

 

“Apart from what?!” Bucky cuts in, when Steve hesitates for no more than a few seconds.

 

The other guy chuckles softly. “My step Dad emailed me earlier. He’s in town and wants to meet up next week… I said I’m sick, but apparently he’s here for a while,” Steve sighs.

 

“I take it the two of you don’t really get on?”

 

The blonde shakes his head. “Well, he  _ did _ get me the internship — he knows Clark — so, I guess I could have one dinner with the guy.”

 

“Don’t do it if you really don’t want to, Steve.” Bucky says, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 

Steve smiles. “Thanks, Buck.” He mumbles, leaning into the other guy’s touch.

 

Barnes kisses the top of his boyfriend’s hand then lets it go. “Right, I’m going to get some dinner started.” He announces, heading across to the kitchen.

 

They spend the night talking about his day on set after they’ve eaten, chatting about how a few fans found the studios and how Bucky went to see them on his lunch break. They were extremely polite and they all took selfies, so Bucky is relieved and happy that he managed it all without becoming too anxious. One of them even gave him some candy as a gift.

 

Steve is happy that the fans were kind, because Bucky truly deserves to have the best experience whilst getting more and more noticed each day. Of course, it’s still a worry… but, this is his dream and he deserves to live it.

 

▪️

 

After a week of bed rest and negotiations with his new managers, Steve is feeling a lot better both mentally and physically. The parents who run the coffee shop were super supportive, and have already lowered his Sunday shift so that he can go home at one pm rather than closing time, and they even tried to lower his Thursday shift too, but Rogers insisted that he can do it. They’ve just hired someone else, so it’s not like they’ll be struggling, but he still wants to prove himself.

 

It’s the beginning of June now, so hopefully he’ll get sick less, although now he has allergies to worry about. But, yet again, Bucky has stated he will be there to look after him. The guy has been nothing but amazing, and Steve is more than happy to be with him. He’s also more than happy to be feeling better, because last night they were able to makeout again and fell asleep on the couch, bodies entwined and hands held together tightly.

 

When they awaken on the Friday morning, their bodies are stiff and scattered with more than a few hickies. They laugh together, untangling limbs and Bucky lets the blonde go and shower first. The morning is relaxing, full of warmth and endearment — cheek kisses whilst Barnes cooks pancakes, hands running through hair after putting the dishes away in the dishwasher, smiling at one another as they put on their shoes.

 

The pair arrive on set (strategically separately, of course) with just enough time to not be late, and they head off to their designated areas for work. Steve looks forward to spending his lunch break with his boyfriend, thinking about it as he cleans up tea cups in the set kitchen. He sighs heavily, wishing he could be on set instead, watching the brunette act.

 

Finally, their break time arrives and Rogers hurries off to Bucky’s trailer. He lets himself in, and smiles when he sees his boyfriend sat on the couch. But, after observing him a little better, Steve’s smile fades. “You alright?” He asks, shutting the door.

 

“Yeah, tired. How about you?”

 

“Fed up of looking at dirty coffee cups.” Steve rolls his eyes.

 

“Good job we have a dishwasher at home then,” Barnes smirks.

 

He moves his legs so that the guy can sit beside him, then they eat their food. The break is over much too quickly and it’s soon back to set for the both of them. They need Steve to help out with props, so at least he’ll be near Bucky for the afternoon.

 

Once the day is over, Steve exists the makeup trailer. He’d be sent there for the last couple of hours, to assist with inventory. It was tedious, to say the least. He spots Bucky leaning against the wall outside of set. “We’re getting your driver to take us home,” Rogers states right away.

 

“Why?” The brunette plays fake dumb, even his voice worn out.

 

“Tell him I’m helping you run over lines, okay?”

 

Bucky nods, and gets out his phone to text the man. He buys their fake story as to why Steve’s going home with him, and they’re both back inside within no time. Barnes says he’s going to shower, so Steve starts cooking up some pasta. It doesn’t take long to cook on a low heat, so around an hour later he’s already putting the food into bowls.

 

“It’s ready!” He calls out.

 

The blonde carries their dinners over to the coffee table, and carefully sets them down. “Bucky?” He calls again.

 

When there’s yet again no answer, Steve goes towards the closed bedroom door. He knocks once, then slowly pushes it open. He can hear a quiet sniffing noise, and peeks around the door to see that Bucky is sat cross legged on the bed, with his head faced down.

 

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks, stepping into the room and making his way over to the bed.

 

Bucky jumps at the sound of his voice, but doesn’t react other than that. “Buck, tell me.” The other guy says softly, climbing up onto the mattress. He sits beside the brunette, and takes his hand.

 

Without speaking, Bucky pushes his phone towards his boyfriend. He unlocks it with his thumb print, and reveals a tweet on the screen. Steve reads it, and then frowns. “You ignored a fan?” His brow furrows, genuinely confused.

 

“I’d gone out for some fresh air in the afternoon, and they must’ve seen me. But, I didn’t hear them — I — I had such a bad headache, god, I’m so stupid. I’m not cut out for this, Stevie. I’m not,” Bucky looks up at him. His facial expression practically breaks the blonde’s heart into two — the way he’s trying so hard not to cry, biting down on his bottom lip so that it won’t shake. His blue eyes are dull and full of water. It’s horrible.

 

Steve exhales heavily. “You made a simple mistake. That’s just human,” he says. “Now, c’mere.” He opens his arms, letting Bucky fall into them.

 

Soon they’re both lying on the bed in darkness. Barnes is staring up at the ceiling, not wanting to bother his boyfriend. He can hear Steve snoring softly beside him. He scrunches his eyes shut and prays that he’ll fall asleep.

 

▪️


	12. Chapter 12

It’s around two a.m. when Steve wakes up, patting the mattress beside him to reveal an empty space. He sits up and rubs his eyes, then uses the bathroom before going to look for Bucky, since he wasn’t in there either. Instead, he’s sat on the couch. Eating ice cream.

 

“Bucky, it’s two in the morning,” Rogers mumbles sleepily, almost tripping over his own two feet as he wanders into the living room.

 

The guy looks up, squinting through the darkness. “Oh, hi.” He say casually, eating another spoonful.

 

“What’re you doing?!” Steve sighs exasperatedly.

 

Bucky blinks slowly. “Eating ice cream.”

 

“I know  _ that _ .” Steve rolls his eyes. “Why though?!”

 

“Oh,” Barnes says quietly. He puts the tub down and curls up on the couch. “My throat hurts, I guess.”

 

“You guess?” Steve tries not to laugh, and sits down beside him.

 

“Uh huh.”

 

The blonde shakes his head. He reaches out to feel the other guy’s forehead and sighs. Before he can remove his hand, Bucky grabs his wrist and pulls him into a hug. But, since it was quite unexpected and they’re both still half asleep… they fall to the floor within seconds.

 

Bucky giggles as they sit up, and Steve frowns. “Okay, first of all — ow.” He grumbles. “Second of all, you need to go take some pills and then sleep.” His voice is stern.

 

_ “Steveeeeee,” _ Barnes whines, lying on his back like a starfish.

 

The blonde raises his eyebrows. “Okay, how can we both get away with not turning up to set tomorrow?” He switches the subject.

 

“I gotta go!” Buck exclaims, sitting up too quickly and almost falling back down again.

 

Steve steadies him, and then the brunette snuggles into his touch. “Bucky, you gotta rest.”

 

“Okay, Stevie.” He murmurs softly, then gets to his feet.

 

The pair go back into the bedroom, and Steve is still deciding how to spend time at home with his boyfriend without raising any suspicions at work. “Hey, I’ll call the studio and say I have a hospital appointment. You call in and say you’ve sprained your ankle really badly working out, okay?”

 

He mumbles something completely inaudible back, and then demands Steve to cuddle  him again. The blonde rolls his eyes, but does as he’s told. He plays with Bucky’s hair until he falls asleep, then smiles down at him. Steve presses a kiss to his own hand, then lightly touches it against the top of Bucky's head.

 

▪️

 

The next morning Steve manages to execute his plan with no problems, which is a huge relief considering he couldn’t wake Bucky up to call in sick for close to half an hour. The guy is passed out on the couch now, whilst Rogers is making himself some breakfast in the kitchen.

 

He glances at his cellphone, feeling his chest grow tight. He texted his Step-Dad about half an hour ago, with the same lie he’d told the studios. There’s still been no reply, which in all fairness could be better than actually receiving something. When Steve looks up again, Bucky is staring at him from the couch, his chin rested atop of it.

 

“What’re you doing, weirdo?” Rogers chuckles, and the other guy grins back.

 

“Staring at you. What’s up?” The brunette asks.

 

Steve sighs. “Uh, I cancelled on my Step-Dad again,” he mumbles.

 

“You can go if you want. I’ll be okay,”

 

“Yeah, that’s the thing. I  _ don’t _ want to go,” the blonde chuckles dryly, going over to the cupboard and grabbing out a plate for Bucky.

 

They eat their toast whilst watching a rerun of ‘Friends’ that’s on the TV. “Well, if he’s mean to you,” Bucky says mid-mouthful of toast. He swallows the food and takes a swig of his tea. “I’ll fight him.”

 

Steve almost chokes on his coffee. “You’re not fighting him,” he laughs. “Though I have no doubts in you.” He smiles.

 

Barnes sighs. “Is he really that bad? Why’d your Mom marry him,” his brow furrows.

 

The blonde gives a half smile back. “Well, she’s actually my adoptive Mom… so, I guess he’d my adoptive Step-Dad.” Steve shrugs. “I actually get on kinda well with her, she’s nice. She took care of me, y’know?”

 

“I wanna take care of you,” Bucky mumbles sleepily, his eyes now closed.

 

Steve smiles, but stays quiet. He watches the brunette fall asleep, snuggling up to a cushion. “I’ll take care of you too,” he whispers softly.

 

▪️


	13. Chapter 13

**_3 weeks later._ **

 

About a week ago, Bucky received an invite to a local charity gala. They’re raising money for the Boston Children’s Hospital by having auctions and a donation book open all night to civilians who have tickets and stars who were invited. James was so shocked to be invited, and even more ecstatic when Ria and Steve managed to get tickets too.

 

“God, Stevie. I’m nervous.” The brunette groans, walking into the kitchen amidst brushing his teeth.

 

Steve looks up from the counter, having just taken his pills. “Me and Ria will meet you inside, don’t worry.” He smiles.

 

“I feel so stupid for not inviting you as my plus one… it’s just —“

 

“I know. The movie is finished shooting now, but you didn’t want to jeopardise it by telling Clark about us. It sucks we can’t be who we are everywhere we go, but that’s our life. As long as you’re here, I’m happy until we tell everyone and after that too.” He says genuinely, walking closer to Bucky.

 

The guy smiles a minty grin, making his boyfriend laugh out loud as he watched the guy hurry into the bathroom to finish the job. “You’re a dork!” Steve calls out.

 

When the brunette returns, he still looks discomforted with worry. “Okay, I have a radio interview at one, and then at three I’m getting my hair cut. After that I have to pick up my suit and come back. My driver is coming at five, ‘cause the red carpet starts at six, and queueing begins then too, and —“

 

Rogers gets up on his tiptoes to place his hands firmly on top of Bucky’s shoulders. “It’s okay. It’s only nine, so we can relax for a bit.” He says softly, kissing his cheek.

 

“Thanks.” Barnes inhales a shaky breath.

 

The couple watch TV and cuddle on the couch until Bucky has to go. He wants Steve to go with him, but for a few reasons they decided against it — paparazzi, his look being a surprise and trying to combat anxiety. He can do this.

 

▪️

 

Ria arrives at the apartment by three, even though Steve had insisted she didn’t need three hours to get ready. She hugs him close and informs him quite seriously that she’d missed him, and also… it’s never too early to prepare for a gala,  _ apparently _ . Bucky returns at four, carrying his suit and sporting a trimmed haircut that’s been styled in a small quiff.

 

“You look great!” Steve beams, hurrying closer to kiss the guy.

 

“Okay, I’d say get a room, but… I’m the guest here.” Ria calls out from the doorway, already clothed in her dark red dress. It reaches her knees and doesn’t cling too much, but it isn’t too baggy either. The girl can make anything look stunning, to be fair.

 

Barnes smiles when he sees her. “You look good!” He grins, then looks back at his boyfriend. “Hey, why aren’t you dressed?”

 

“I’ve been helping Ria!” The blonde replies.

 

They all head back into the bedroom, and Steve goes into the bathroom with his clothes. He didn’t want to wear a suit, so he thought that skinny black jeans, a white shirt and a simple black tie would do the trick. He combs his hair and sprays his most expensive cologne, then exits to become faced with a fully dressed Bucky (Ria closed her eyes) and a grinning bear friend.

 

“You look good,” Barnes bites down on his bottom lip.

 

The girl in the room looks from him and then back to Steve, before clearing her throat. “No pouncing until I’m safely back in my dorm, thank you very much!” Ria hums, skipping over to the bed and retrieving her heels.

 

Bucky coughs awkwardly, and Steve knows he’s blushing.

 

“Okay, your driver will be here in ten minutes, Bucky. Me and Steve will see you there,” she smiles. “Being planned helps me lower my anxiety.”

 

He smiles. “Thanks, that helps.” The brunette sighs, already pacing the room.

 

Steve gives him a kiss on the lips before he leaves, and waves him off until he has disappeared down the stairs. He grabs his things and leaves with Ria fifteen minutes later, to make sure they arrive a little early since they have to also factor in the busy subway times.

 

They get there at five minutes past six, but there’s no way they’re going to make it to the front of the red carpet. Even the queue to get in is long, and Ria sighs. “I told you we should’ve left at four.” She says into his ear.

 

“It’ll be fine, we’ll be in by the time Buck gets off the carpet!” He shouts back, taking her by the hand and leading her through the crowd towards the queue of people that are waiting to get inside.

 

Thankfully, it moves quite quickly and they get inside after standing up for only half an hour. It’s almost twenty to seven, and the event will start soon. They’re supposed to go and find their seats in the civilian area, but Steve had promised that he’d meet his boyfriend somewhere in the room. They said they’d meet by an exit and then take their seats, but both Ria and Steve check each door and they can’t seem to find him.

 

“Did you not specify which door?” The redhead frowns, pushing some curls out of her face.

 

He sighs, feeling worried. “Well, we just said any door that leads to a corridor would be easy to spot… maybe he’s in the toilet? Or, maybe he’s just caught up with the press… god, Ria, is he okay?”

 

The girl looks confused. “Should you have reason to think otherwise?” She raises her voice over the music.

 

“Look — let’s get somewhere quieter.” He gently takes her hand, and they go into the corridor where the toilets are. Steve looks around and confirms that they’re now alone. “He had a panic attack a few weeks back. He hasn’t had one since, but I’m still worried.”

 

Ria nods. “Okay… we’ll find him. You check the toilets and I’ll wait here,” she instructs.

 

He follows her plan, but to no prevail. “He’s not in there.” Steve runs his hands through his hair. “Maybe he’s just backstage? I text him to say we’re here…” the blonde trails off, pulling his phone out of his jeans pocket to check it. “He hasn’t even read it.” His shoulders slump immediately.

 

“Right, well let’s think from his perspective. If I was about to panic, I’d want to get out straight away.” She says, glancing around. “There!” Ria points to the fire exit at the end of the corridor.

 

“It’s worth a try,” Steve mumbles, following her towards the door.

 

They step outside, a cool air hitting them the second the door opens. It thuds shut behind them, accompanied by the faded sound of nearby press and public standing around the corner at the front of the building. “Bucky?” Steve calls out. “It’s me!”

 

For a moment, there’s no reply. But, then they hear something…ragged breaths coming from nearby. “I’m over here,” the voice is quiet and shaky.

 

Rogers rushes over to a dumpster, and steps around the side to see his boyfriend sat down on the floor, his head in his hands. “Bucky, what happened?” He feels his eyes start to sting when the guy looks up, his face tear streaked and pale.

 

“I — I can’t do it.” He chokes out, gasping for air all at once.

 

Bucky puts his head back in his hands and rocks slightly. “It’s not for me,” he sobs quietly.

 

Steve doesn’t know what to do. He’s suddenly overwhelmed with a fear he hasn’t felt before. The boy on the ground is shaking like a leaf and he sounds like Steve does when he’s having an asthma attack.

 

That’s when Ria takes him by his shoulders and steers him carefully aside. She crouches down in front of Bucky, and rubs his back. “Just breath in and out, okay? Focus on each breath. Focus on the ground underneath you and the sounds you can hear. Can you hear my voice?” Her voice is soothing, and Bucky manages to nod.

 

“That’s good, just keep breathing.”

 

Barnes tries his best, and through a few more coughs and sobs he manages to slowly regain a normal breathing pattern. Steve watches and feels like the most useless person on the planet, not even noticing the tears that have spilled from his own eyes and down his flushed cheeks.

 

“Here,” Ria reaches into her bag and hands Bucky some tissues. The guy finally looks up again, taking them and thanking her with a weak smile and a nod.

 

More minutes pass and they feel like weeks to Steve. Bucky calms himself down a little more with some extra promoting from Ria again. He cleans up his face, and manages to stand with the help of the other two people beside him. He’s too ashamed to look at Steve, but after wiping his own eyes and pretending that he hadn’t even been crying, he places two fingers underneath of the brunette’s still damp chin and moves his head so that they lock eyes.

 

“Bucky,” he whispers. “You don’t have to be ashamed of this.”

 

“The fuck I don’t… I — I don’t mean that offensively.” He gulps, glancing at Ria. “I just… I ruined your night and I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid,” his tired, blue eyes start to well up again.

 

“Bucky, stop it.”

 

“I messed up, I freaked out! Everyone was asking me questions and grabbing at me, and then I heard someone shouting different poses at me and I saw fans and tried to see them all and I didn’t and I felt bad and then interviewers came and asked my about my love life and then I panicked, ‘cause — ‘cause I thought they knew. I answered somethin’, I rushed off and I bumped into someone, and something… I ran to the toilet, I threw up on my shoe. I’m a mess, I don’t deserve all of this and you.” Tears are running down his face again, and he can’t catch his breath.

 

Steve bites down hard on his bottom lip and tries with all his might not to burst into tears. “Stop,” he whispers.

 

“I — I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He starts repeating over and over.

 

“James! Stop it!”

 

“I’m so —“

 

“I love you.” Steve blurts out, grabbing his boyfriend’s hands to stop the, from shaking so violently. “I love you.” He repeats, getting the other male to stop babbling after saying it the second time.

 

Bucky opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it again.

 

“You don’t have to say it back. But, I wanted — I need you to know.” He says, using his thumb to wipe some tears from underneath his boyfriend’s eyes. “Now, let’s sneak out of here.”

 

The blonde turns around, surprised to see his own best friend wiping away a tear. “Sorry, uh… god, yeah. Let’s get out of here. We can discuss how you’re made for each other at a better time.” Ria mumbles, and Bucky actually laughs.

 

“Are there people this way?” Bucky asks, gripping Steve’s hand tight (but not too tight.)

 

They get to the end of the alleyway, and peek out. All of the people and press are concentrated on the front entrance still, as a few late coming stars arrive. “Let’s go right,” Steve whispers, gently tugging his boyfriend onto the sidewalk.

 

The trio hurry off until they’re far enough away from the commotion not to be noticed. Ria hails a cab and they all climb in. “I can get the subway from your apartment,” she tells them, already prepared to pay for the cab journey too.

 

“No, you stay at mine… it’s the least I can do.” Barnes slurs a little, his head leaning against the window.

 

“Are — are you sure.”

 

He nods.

 

“You can borrow some of my clothes, and Bucky always has a spare toothbrush.” Steve reassures her.

 

She smiles with her thanks, and then the rest of the cab ride is silent. They split the cost, after reassuring Bucky that he doesn’t need to pay it all because of what happened. The three of them get inside the apartment and all let out simultaneous sighs of relief.

 

Steve and Bucky get into their night clothes in silence, then the blonde says he’ll go get some spare things for Ria. As soon as he hurrie snack into the bedroom though, his boyfriend is already asleep. He hadn’t even had time to pull the sheet over him, and is still sprawled out in the position he’d been lying and waiting for Rogers in.

 

The guy sighs softly, and carefully covers Bucky over. He kisses him on the forehead and hears a sleepy murmur in return. Then, Steve switches off the light and gets into bed beside him.

 

▪️


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning, Bucky eventually wakes up around nine. He can feel the absence of Steve beside him, and slowly opens his eyes to try and figure out as to why. But, when he sees red all over his boyfriend’s pillow of course he goes into panic mode and shoots out of bed too fast for his own good.

 

Then he hears the guy yelling in the bathroom, and panics even more. “Steve?! What’s wrong?” Barnes bursts through the door, making the blonde jump so hard he almost drops his phone.

 

It takes Steve a good few seconds to work out why Bucky is so frantic, then he even laughs for a quick moment. “I’m fine, I’m fine — it was just a nosebleed, okay?” He reassures the unstead brunette, who’s feeling dizzy due to jumping up so quickly. “But… you might wanna see this,” Steve’s facial expression changes to look more solemn, as he hands him his phone.

 

Barnes reads the headline and immediately feels his heart skip a beat. ‘New Indie Star, James Barnes, Spotted Hand in Hand With Mystery Blonde… Guy!’ And, there underneath it is a paparazzi photograph of Steve and Bucky holding hands last night as they’d exited the alleyway.

 

“I — what? How?” He squeaks, his hands shaking slightly already.

 

“It’s okay, I was thinking maybe you could send an email to Tara? Y’know the Buzzfeed lady. She could help us make this situation better.” Rogers says calmly, reaching out to touch Bucky’s shoulder.

 

The guy nods slowly. “I mean, I had been saying how I wanted to tell people about us… but, this wasn’t how I wanted it to happen,” he mumbles.

 

Steve sighs softly. “I know, me neither. But, she can help.”

 

▪️

 

The boyfriends are now awaiting Tara’s arrival. They decided to invite her over for dinner and she has promised to help their situation out. They’re sat on the couch watching TV, but Steve’s mind is elsewhere… he’s been avoiding talking about last night for hours now, and he can’t hold it off any longer.

 

“Buck?”

 

“Mhm?” The guy murmurs, not really listening as he continues staring at the screen ahead of them.

 

“Have you thought about, um, talking to someone about your panic attacks?” Steve asks.

 

Silence.

 

Bucky switches off the TV. “I don’t really wanna talk about it right now,” he replies.

 

“Bucky, I think you should. Maybe not to me, but to a professional.”

 

The brunette shifts in his seat, and Steve can tell he’s uncomfortable. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” He snaps.

 

“Sorry,” Steve mumbles.

 

The guy sighs quietly. “No, I’m sorry… it’s just, I get what you’re saying, but —“

 

There’s a knock at the door that cuts into his apology, making them both jump. “I’ll get it!” Bucky exclaims, hurrying away.

 

The blonde rolls his eyes, and pushes his glasses further up his nose. He understands that anxiety isn’t a nice thing, and of course he gets why Bucky is hesitant to talk about it. But, right now he had to concentrate on helping his boyfriend with his publicity issue, and maybe they’ll have a proper conversation about the latter another time.

 

“Hi!” Tara is let inside by Bucky, and she greets the pair with a warm smile.

 

Her hair is tied in a bun and her glasses are bright pink. She still looks just as stylish and preppy as the first time Barnes and Rogers had met her. “So, don’t you guys worry, okay?” She says, getting her laptop out of her bag. “I have a plan.”

 

The woman sets up a handheld video camera alongside her laptop, placing them on the coffee table. “Alright, so I’m going to do another interview explaining things. We’ll address the article, but this one will be much more relaxed and positive.”

 

“Thanks so much for coming,” Bucky exhales a breath as he speaks, sitting back down on the couch.

 

She beams back at him. “So, I read the original article with the paparazzi photo… we’ll get some cuter snaps of the both of you. So you mind me addressing that the article pointed out how you didn’t look well?” Tara questions, and Bucky immediately tenses up.

 

“I — I had a panic attack,” he forces himself to say the words. “But, I don’t want the public to know.” He hangs his head, as if in shame.

 

Her face softens. “We can just say you weren’t feeling well, and your boyfriend helped you home. Deal?” Tara looks between them both, and smiles at Steve.

 

“Uh, do I have to be in this? I’m not wearing anything nice, and I look kinda bad anyway, ‘cause allergies,” he rambles, picking at his nails as he talks.

 

Tara chuckles softly. “Not if you don’t want to be. But, I’d love at least one photo of the both of you to add into the article. It doesn’t have to be from right now,” she explains.

 

“Okay, I’ll go and finish the laundry downstairs whilst you two talk. I’ll be back in a little while!” He says, glancing at Bucky to make sure he’s alright, but he’s smiling and doesn’t look anxious anymore.

 

So, Steve heads downstairs to the basement — it’s a much fancier laundry room than he’d ever imagined, with all of the walls painted white and every machine and drier practically top of the market — to gather up the laundry out of the dryer. He takes his time folding it and putting it into the basket, having to take a break to use his inhaler.

 

When he returns upstairs, it’s a relief to hear Tara laughing with his boyfriend. Steve quietly opens the door, peeking through the gap to see her recording him signing off from the interview. He’s glad that it seems like everything went well, and closes the door behind him. Steve waits until she switches off the camera to return to where they’re both sitting.

 

“How’d it go?” The blonde asks, carefully placing the laundry basket behind the couch out of the way.

 

“It went awesome!” Tara exclaims. “I’ll email you guys with the link as soon as I’ve posted it. I should get it edited and done with some of my colleagues by tomorrow evening, okay?”

 

Bucky nods. “Thanks again,” he says genuinely.

 

After she packs up her equipment the trio order a takeout, and watch reruns of ‘Will and Grace.’ Even Steve manages to relax a little more, as they all chat about various different things together. After dinner they clear up and bid Tara ‘goodbye,’ and by the time she’s gone it’s already almost nine pm.

 

Tomorrow Steve will have to head back to work, so the pair get an early night. They don’t talk any further about the topic from earlier on, but before Barnes switches off the light he promises his boyfriend that he will talk to him about it. Their late night compromise ends up being that if Steve invites Ria over, then she’s allowed to give Bucky some advice on anxiety and panic attacks.

 

So, all in all it’s been a very successful day.

 

▪️


	15. Chapter 15

**_Tuesday._ **

 

Today is one of Steve’s day’s off (he has new hours now that his internship at the movie set finished a few weeks back), so he’s meeting Ria for lunch. Bucky is having a meeting with his manager, so they’ve both agreed to help one another cook a nice meal tonight after their fast food binge the night before.

 

Barnes had left his meeting feeling refreshed and ready for a new opportunity… but, then he’d checked his phone.

 

**_Ria: please call me_ **

 

**_Ria: I really don’t mean to panic or upset you, but call me_ **

 

Of course, he dials her number right away. But, she doesn’t god damn answer. Bucky feels his chest tightening, but he ignores it. If Ria is texting him with such little detail and mentioning how she doesn’t want to panic him, then something must have happened to Steve. Whilst taking deep breaths, he ducks into the alleyway beside his manager’s office building. He tries her number again, and thankfully she picks up.

 

“Bucky, I’m so sorry if I freaked you out!” Her voice is shaky, and that scares him. He hasn’t gotten to know her overly well, but she’s like a sister to Steve. To hear her sounding like she’s trying with all her might to sound fine is making things so much worse.

 

“What happened?!” He blurts out as if it was one word.

 

“Look, Steve is fine, but —“

 

“But what?!”

 

“Bucky, please don’t freak. Just take a coupe deep breaths, okay? Steve had an asthma attack and he’s in the hospital with me right now. He’s fine now, but they just have to give him some medicine.”

 

As soon as Barnes hears the word ‘hospital’ he zones out and feels like the world around him is spinning. He sucks in a breath after not even realising he hadn’t done so for a little too long, and then coughs. “I’m on my way, text me directions.” He says, and hangs up the phone.

 

The brunette can feel tears stinging in the corner of his eyes and threatening to spill with their sharpness. But, he needs to focus. He has to stay calm, because Steve needs him right now. Bucky finds the nearest subway station and works out the route to the hospital. In his lifetime he’s probably only been in there a handful of times — his Mother passed when he was seven, so himself and his sister had been to visit her when she was deteriorating, and when Becca was ten she broke her arm playing soccer.

 

Once the train is at the right stop he hurried off, clenching his fists and focusing on his breathing still. He knows that he isn’t within his right mind, but if he can keep this panic attack at bay and get in front of Steve before it happens then he should be fine. He takes his phone out of his pocket and looks at the blurred words on the screen, which makes him realise his eyes are full of tears again. E blinks them away quickly, and reads the directions. Ria has informed him that Steve has been moved from the ER into an assessment ward, and that they’re awaiting a doctor to come around and let them know his blood test results.

 

So, with the help from an employee and then following some signs, Bucky hurries there as fast as he can. He arrives quite quickly, and takes another deep breath before going to the front desk. Barnes can feel his hands shaking, and stuffs them in his pockets as he asks the receptionist where Steve is. At first, she asks if he’s family, but after a few minutes she realises his worry and her face softens. She lets him know where his boyfriend is, but informs him that soon visiting hours will end.

 

Bucky ignores this piece of information, and heads to his right. Sure enough, he sees Ria sat on a chair outside of a room. Her legs are swinging back and forth and her head is kept downwards. “Ria?” He calls, walking a little faster until he’s stood above her.

 

She jumps at the sound of his voice, and looks up. Her eyes are red and it’s clear she’s been crying. “Sorry if I scared you, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, how’s Steve?”  He asks, peeking in through the glass door to see a Nurse standing over his bed.

 

“He’s okay now, he’s sleeping.” Her small figure jolts with a tiny sob. Ria tucks some hair behind her ear that’s fallen from her ponytail. “It was all my fault, Bucky.” Her bottom lip shakes a little.

 

Bucky isn’t sure what to do, because he’s used to seeing her all bubbly and energetic. “What do you mean?” He asks, his voice soft as he watches her try not to break down. Just like she’d seen him do a few days ago.

 

“Well, we were going to just have lunch on campus, so we didn’t have to use the subway. Steve had already used it to get here and told me it was super busy, and I don’t like it anyway, but the cafe was super, super busy… so, we got on the subway and I was just concentrating on myself ‘cause I hate crowds. We walked to the nearest Starbucks, right? But, we got held up by a protest going through the city. I’d noticed him use his inhaler on the subway, but I was only concentrating on myself and then by the time we got to Starbucks he said he needed a minute and I turned and I knew he was having an asthma attack, I knew it was starting but he tried to deny it and then he couldn’t breathe and sometimes his inhaler stops it, but the heat must’ve been too much and it went on and I called the ambulance, but they got stuck from the streets being closed due to the protests. God, it felt like the longest fifteen minutes of my life and I can’t imagine what it felt like for Steve!” The redhead explains everything almost at the speed of light and without taking barely one breath.

 

Barnes manages to understand most of it, and he pulls her into a gentle hug before she can burst into tears again. He rubs her back gently and tells her it wasn’t her fault. “Are you gonna be okay?” He whispers.

 

She nods against his chest. “I don’t like hospitals, I don’t like them.” Her voice is small. “I don’t like subways, and I don’t like it when Steve is in pain.”

 

“Me neither, Ria. But, you did the right thing.” He kisses the top of her head.

 

A few moments later the Nurse exits Steve’s room. “Excuse me, but Steven is awake he’s asking for someone named  _ ‘Bucky’? _ ” Her face is contorted with confusion, which even makes Ria laugh a little bit.

 

“Thank you,” he chuckles towards the nurse, then looks at Ria.

 

“You go in, I’m going to get some water.” She reassures him, yet her gaze still doesn’t meet his eye.

 

Bucky gently squeezes her shoulder, and then heads inside of the room. He settles his eyeline on Steve, and immediately feels worried. The blonde is attached to an IV and has an oxygen mask over his face, and he looks absolutely exhausted.

 

“Bucky!” He exclaims, his dull blue suddenly lighting up. Steve takes off the mask, and props it on the top of his head.

 

“Hey, don’t you need that to, like, breathe?” Barnes asks, sitting beside his boyfriend and reaching over to kiss him on the cheek.

 

Rogers chuckles quietly. “Is Ria okay?” He asks, ignoring Bucky’s comment. “The last thing I remember in the ambulance is her trying to contain her panic and then I passed out.”

 

“She’s fi — Wait, you passed out?!” Bucky almost chokes on his own saliva.

 

Steve laughs. “I’m okay, I promise.” He wheezes slightly, and Bucky puts his oxygen mask back on for him.

 

“Stevie, you really scared me… and, uh, she’s coping. She said she doesn’t like the subway, or hospitals, or seeing you in pain. I think she panicked.”

 

He closes his eyes. “All of this is a lot for her.”

 

They sit in silence for a while. Barnes moves to Steve’s other side so that he can hold his hand. After around twenty more minutes the blonde falls back to sleep, and that’s when Ria comes back in. She looks a lot calmer, and she isn’t crying anymore. It’s clear she’s sorted her makeup out and brushed her hair, and from a distance you wouldn’t even be able to tell that she’d been sobbing about an hour before this exact moment.

 

“Sorry I cried on your cute shirt,” the girl mumbles, twiddling her thumbs.

 

The pair walk back outside to talk, and sit on parallel chairs outside of the room whilst Steve sleeps. “You don’t have to worry, I mean, you saw me having a minor breakdown on the floor of a gross alleyway. I ruined our night,” he laughs dryly.

 

“You didn’t ruin it. If I’m honest, it was really noisy and I didn’t really like it anyway.” She replies.

 

“Is that why you don’t like it here?” Bucky asks, suddenly becoming aware of each different noise that’s going on in the ward in this exact moment — alarms beeping, footsteps rushing, phones ringing, voices talking, etc.

 

Ria nods. “That and other stuff. I’m autistic,” she adds casually.

 

“Oh, I, um… I didn’t know that.” He replies, not really knowing what to say.

 

The redhead chuckles. “I know you didn’t. But, now you know and that’s part of me… anyway, I like you and I know you love Steve. So, you’re obviously my friend now too.” She takes a quick glance at his eyes. “Thanks for the hug, by the way.”

 

Bucky smiles. “You’re more than welcome.”

 

After a few minutes, Barnes remembers his promise to Steve. “Hey, once Steve is feeling better could you come over for dinner? We agreed that I’d ask you for advice on anxiety, since I’m not exactly keen on therapy whilst I’m in the public eye and stuff. Plus, I don't particularly have awesome experiences with it.”

 

“Course! Only if we have pasta.” She smiles.

 

“Deal,” Bucky laughs. “Do you think he can go home today? Seeing him in that bed just makes me feel… I dunno. Wow, nobody told me how stressful love is.” He sighs, rubbing his hands over his face.

 

Ria nods in agreement. “Well, I’d say they’ll let him home by tonight, yeah. I mean, in my opinion it was the heat, plus being tired from walking, plus pollen that caused it.”

 

“Yeah, they sent him home yesterday from work. Is there nothing I could do to help him? I mean, I woke up to blood all over his damn pillow on Sunday,” Bucky breathes out a laugh that’s more nervous than anything else.

 

“Keep all your windows closed… not much else. I mean, it’s unfortunate that this heatwave coincides with high pollen and there’s a lot of parks around us. One time in college last year he had to be excused from all lessons for a day ‘cause he had a nosebleed all over his notes. He was so mad that he had to write them all again,” she giggles at the memory.

 

Bucky leans back in his chair. He’s about to reply, when his phone vibrates inside of his shorts’ pocket. It’s an email… from Tara. “Holy shit, I forgot about the interview!” He exclaims, opening the link right away.

 

“What interview?” She peeks over his shoulder, and reads his screen.

 

“After the paparazzi snapped a photo of me and Steve, I did an interview about my love life for Buzzfeed… hey, y’know what, you watch it first. I’m scared,” he admits a little sheepishly, his shaking hands reaching over for her to take his phone.

 

Ria takes it, then pulls out her headphones from her own pocket. She reads the first part of the article, before pressing play on the video interview.

  
  


**_Actor, James Barnes Reveals The Truth About His Love Life._ **

**_Interview and Article by Tara Wright._ **

 

**_As some of you may have seen plastered over the internet on Saturday night, Mr. Barnes was holding hands with a mystery blonde. And, to some people it may have arrived as a shock to see that this wasn’t a girl he was seen slightly intimate beside. So, I’ve asked him some questions about his love life. True questions, real questions… respectful questions. Because, James is a great guy who deserves a little hearing out, don’t you all agree?_ **

 

**_So, before you jump onto Twitter and accuse him of hiding things from you, take a look at this video. James seems rather genuine and polite. Like all of us in the LGBTQ+ community, it can be a scary place — the real world. So, please can we welcome him and his rise to fame into it with open arms._ **

 

{The video begins playing with subtitles underneath.}

 

**_T: “So, James. Tell us a little bit about your night. What happened?”_ **

 

**_B: “Please, call me Bucky — short for Buchanan, my middle name.”_ **

 

**_T: “Of course! Bucky, how was your night?”_ **

 

**_B: “I didn’t feel too well, so myself, Steve and his friend, Ria, headed out through the back and sneaked back home. I felt so bad, but I really wasn’t feeling good.”_ **

 

**_T: “Who is this ‘Steve’? I think there’s been a lot of speculation.”_ **

 

**_B: “[Laughs] Yeah… he’s my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for almost three months now.”_ **

 

**_T: “That’s great! I’m sure you had your reasons for not making it public sooner. Do you mind if I ask you about your sexuality? It’s totally fine if you choose to keep this private, of course. It took me almost three years to openly tell people that I’m a lesbian.”_ **

 

**_B: “Thank you, uh, I really appreciate that. Also, that’s awesome you’re comfortable with yourself! [Grins.] I’m bisexual and me and Steve had a discussion recently, over midnight ice cream, actually… we feel ace too. We don’t feel the need nor the desire to… y’know, just yet. We are really happy with our relationship right now. I love him so much.”_ **

 

**_T: “God, you’re bringing a tear to my eye, Bucky. Thank you so much for opening up to us like that. So, you met Steve on your movie set?”_ **

 

**_B: “Yeah. I think we liked each other a lot longer than we'd care to admit though. [Laughs] We kept it private, ‘cause I was scared of the reactions. But, now it’s out there… it feels good.”_ **

 

**_T: “Thank you so much for talking with me today!”_ **

 

**_B: “Thanks for helping me feel better about this.”_ **

 

**_So, that was Bucky talking about his relationship status. Let’s welcome him into the community with open arms, painted pink, purple and blue! Personally, I find them adorable together. As pictured below:_ **

 

**_Thanks for reading!_ **

**_Tara.x_ **

 

The photo she added was a selfie that the couple had taken about a week before the interview took place. Bucky was wearing Steve’s glasses and sticking his tongue out, whilst the blonde laughed beside him. They were lying in bed and Steve’s hair was all fluffy after letting it dry from a shower, and he was also wearing one of Bucky’s shirts. Barnes had chosen the photo as a surprise for Steve to see, and personally it’s one of the brunette’s favourites so far of the both of them together.

 

“So… What was it like?” Bucky asks Ria, who’s still staring at the screen below her.

 

She removes her glasses, and takes a deep breath. “Woah, you made me cry. In a good way!” The redhead quickly adds.

 

She hands him back his phone. “It’s so lovely! Also, high-five for bisexuality!” The girl exclaims happily, holding up her hand.

 

Barnes laughs out loud, and returns the gesture with a smile worn over his face. The pair of them giggle quietly, and then turn as somebody opens the door to Steve’s room. “I think that’s the Doctor,” she whispers to Bucky, who’s watching through the glass intently already.

 

They wait for what seems like much longer than it really is, before the man comes out. “I assume you’re with Steven Rogers?” he asks them.

 

The pair sat outside nod, ignoring how weird it is to hear his proper name being said out loud again. “His blood work came back okay, and we indeed think that this extreme heat and pollen count are to blame for such a bad attack. We would like to monitor him for a few more hours, but if all is alright by morning then we’ll get him back home.”

 

“Thank you, Doctor.” Ria replies.

 

He nods towards her, and then walks away. Both Ria and Bucky sigh from relief, before walking into his room. “Hey, Stevie,” Barnes says, as they stand at the end of his bed.

 

“Hey, guys… you don’t have to look  _ that _ serious,” the blonde smirks.

 

The pair roll their eyes back at him, and then take a seat on either side of his bed. The trio agree that they’ll stick together for the night until they’re actually told to leave, and that’s exactly what they do until half past eight. Bucky promises that he will stay with Ria, and invites her over. Steve seems happy with this compromise, and let’s them both give him a hug before they leave.

 

Both Barnes and Ria watch a few movies before they head to bed, deciding to chat about anxiety another day.

 

▪️


	16. Chapter 16

**_The next morning._ **

 

Bucky and Ria head to the hospital as soon as they can, and Barnes goes inside to find the ward. He arrives just in time to witness the Doctor handing over Steve’s discharge papers, which is a huge relief to the both of them. He gives his boyfriend a hug as soon as he walks in, and then eyes the bruise on Steve’s left hand.

 

“That looks painful,” Barnes says softly, gently running his fingers just above the marked area of skin.

 

Steve flinches, but then tries to play it off as fine. “It’s not too bad,” he mumbles. “C’mon, let’s get out of here!”

 

The blonde leads the way, making sure to thank the staff on his way out. When they reach the entrance, Bucky calls towards him and tells him to slow down. “Stevie, you gotta take it slow, okay?” He says, looking at the guy with concern written all of his tired features.

 

“I’m fine,” Rogers replies, clearly agitated by the attention.

 

Bucky huffs. “I am your boyfriend and I _will_ fuss over you if o want to! Now, hold my damn hand, you stubborn… thing.”

 

His partner can’t help but burst into laughter, before obeying and linking their fingers with his right hand. They walk out into the parking lot and find the car, where Ria is standing waiting. “Steve!” She exclaims, hurrying over to give him a hug.

 

“Hey,” he chuckles.

 

She lets him go a few moments later, not wanting to hurt him. “Let’s get in the car,” Ria says, opening the door for him before Bucky can even think about doing so.

 

They all climb in, and Barnes gets into the driver’s seat. He starts to reverse the car, and the redhead in the back turns to her best friend. “How’re you feeling?” She asks.

 

“I’m tired… I didn’t sleep great last — night,” he replies, sneezing halfway through.

 

“Bless you!” Both Bucky and Ria chorus at the same time.

 

“Are you sure he’s feeling better? Feel his forehead,” the brunette says, pulling onto the main road and glancing into the mirror to look at his boyfriend behind him.

 

Steve rolls his eyes. “I’ll take my pills when we get home, I’m fine. Plus, the Doctor said I can increase the dosage of my inhalers each morning to help, and the preventer at night too. I’ll be fine, okay?” He reiterates, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses.

 

After Bucky drops Ria back off at campus, he heads home with Steve. They get inside the apartment and the guy immediately heads for the bathroom to shower (after taking his pills, of course.) As soon as he’s done, Barnes is awaiting his presence on the couch.

 

“Ria told me that hot tea helps, so I bought some ginger and lemon. D’you want any?” He asks, as the blonde sits down and curls up beside him.

 

“Maybe later… thanks, Buck.” He murmurs sleepily.

 

Bucky runs his hand through Steve’s blow dried hair. “You sure you’re okay?” He whispers softly.

 

The guy nods, already half asleep. Bucky decides to let him nap, and then he plans to show him the interview that Tara had filmed and sent over last night. He watched it when he’d arrived back from the hospital with Ria, but he still hasn’t checked social media yet. He wants Steve to watch it first.

 

▪️

 

Steve wakes up almost an hour later, managing to pull himself from his own slumber by coughing. Bucky — who hasn’t moved from his side — helps him up, and hands him his blue inhaler. “I fell asleep?” He asks, still a little dazed.

 

“You fell asleep,” his boyfriend confirms.

 

A few minutes pass by, whilst the blonde retains awareness of his surroundings. That’s when Bucky decides to mention the interview. “Hey… Tara sent me the interview last night. I haven’t looked at the reactions yet. I wanted to see yours first — well, I let Ria watch it before me, ‘cause I was scared,” he admits the last part sheepishly to Steve.

 

“God, I can’t believe I forgot about that!” Steve says, looking around for his phone and simultaneously realising that Bucky must have taken his glasses off.

 

The brunette realises his struggle to see, and reaches for both the phone and the glasses that are still on the coffee table. “Here,” Bucky says, giving them to Steve.

 

Unsure if he actually wants to watch Steve react or await for his final thoughts, Barnes decides to stand up and fix them an early lunch. He knows that hospital food is certainly not the best kind of cuisine, so surely the blonde must be hungry. So, he prepares them some sandwiches and takes his time.

 

When he carries them back over to the couch, he can hear himself talking on Steve’s phone. Apart from the fact that he’s slightly cringing over hearing his own voice on record, Bucky feels a surge of pride spread through him. He places the sandwiches down on the coffee table, then looks up to see what Rogers thinks about the interview.

 

“Oh my god, are you crying?” Bucky blurts out, automatically going into worry mode again.

 

The guy puts his phone down, now finished with the interview. “You said — you said you loved me so much.” Steve tries to remain composed, but sobs a little in between.

 

“Yeah… ‘cause I do, you dork.” Buck chuckles, hurrying around the table to give him a hug.

 

Steve rubs his eyes, but then falls against his boyfriend's chest. He hugs him back, and feels circles being rubbed against his back by Bucky. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired,” he murmurs.

 

When Barnes releases him from the embrace, he wipes his thumbs underneath of Steve’s eyes. “Maybe it’s a good job you’re not working this week,” he laughs quietly.

 

The guy nods. He’d called them in the car to let them know what had happened, and they signed him off for a week without any questions needed asking. Steve is thankful for them, but at the same time wishes he could work without any health issues for just one damn month or so.

 

After another minute Steve is fine, and they eat their sandwiches together. They spend the rest of the day inside, keeping all of the windows closed and the air conditioning on. Bucky eventually logs back into his Twitter account, and his heart burst with joy when he sees all of the positive comments that are coming from people who have seen the interview. It really puts his mind at rest to know that people are accepting him, and in fact he’s even gained three hundred followers already.

 

Later that evening Rogers starts getting prepared to go to bed, promising Bucky that he won’t be so boring tomorrow. The brunette reminds him they can’t exactly do much anyway, since he is off work… to which Steve pokes his tongue out at. The blonde is busy washing his face when he hears Bucky talking, and just assumes that he must be taking a phone call.

 

When he dries his face and puts his glasses back on, Steve can’t hear anything else. He frowns slightly, and wanders into the bedroom. His boyfriend is stood in the doorway, shoulders slumped downwards and a defeated expression written across his face.

 

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks, moving a little closer.

 

Bucky intakes a sharp breath. “I don’t have my audition anymore. I think he saw the interview.”

 

▪️


	17. Chapter 17

That night was hard. At first, Bucky had tears spilling from his eyes and then he started pacing. That’s when he got angry, and started blurting out questions like ‘why the fuck shouldn’t I get the audition?!’ And, ‘I know they didn’t describe it that they don’t want me because of my sexuality… but, I  _ know _ that’s why happened. How can they do that?’ 

 

Steve wasn’t sure what to say, because he knew that his boyfriend was right. He managed to eventually get the guy to calm down, sensing a panic attack was close to forming. They sat on the bed together and talked about anything. Anything other than the current issue, then they kissed one another goodnight and lied down. Bucky didn’t sleep too well, but he could hear his boyfriend snoring beside him.

 

It’s been a week since the incident now, and Rogers is doing a lot better health wise. He’s back at work and it seems that the increased dosage of his inhalers is really helping. He arrives home from his Wednesday shift with a skip in his step, greeting Barnes with a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Heard anything new from your manager?” The blonde questions, placing his things on one of the hooks by the front door.

 

Bucky shakes his head. “Not yet. Tara has been emailing me about it all, and we agreed it’s not worth pursuing. No evidence and stuff.” He replies.

 

His partner nods. “It’s probably best. Besides, it’s his loss,” Steve says, ruffling up Bucky’s hair as he stands behind the couch.

 

Barnes frowns, looking upwards. “What do you want for dinner?”

 

“Uh… something with garlic bread!” The blonde exclaims, making Buck chuckle.

 

“Nice and specific.” He shakes his head, already heading into the kitchen. “I was thinking about inviting Ria round for dinner on Sunday, what d’you think?” Bucky calls.

 

“Yeah!” Steve calls back, untying his shoes and neatly putting them back by the front door before finding Bucky knelt down by the freezer.

 

So, the couple end Thursday night on a much more positive note than the night before. They eat lasagna and garlic bread, whilst watching ‘The Lion King’ together on the couch. For dessert Bucky finds some candy that they’d both forgotten about, so they eat it and giggle when the other’s tongue has turned blue.

 

They’re both pretty tired too, so they head to bed before ten. Bucky falls asleep first, and Steve kisses his cheek before he finally feels his eyes getting heavier. Things are hard right now, especially for Bucky and the stigmas he’s been facing after the interview.

 

But, as long as they’re together they’ll get through it.

 

▪️

 

**_Sunday afternoon._ **

 

Barnes and Rogers kick their shoes off, panting from being so out of breath. They’ve just arrived in from grocery shopping for their dinner tonight… but, they’d spotted a paparazzi upon leaving the store and just about managed to run off before they got noticed. But, after that they’d missed their next train on the subway and Bucky got noticed by some fans. They were super lovely and squealed over how ‘fucking adorable’ the couple are together, and took selfies with the four of them in the photo.

 

The reason they’re still out of breath may also have something to do with the fact that they’d decided to makeout when arriving outside of the apartment complex. A little celebratory ‘we just dodged a paparazzi and met some cute fans’ moment, so to speak.

 

“That was… that was fun,” Bucky smirks, leading his boyfriend by the hand so that they can both sit down on the couch.

 

He exhales a breathy laugh. “The fan meeting, or the kissing?”

 

“Both,” Barnes replies.

 

They sit and catch their breath for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. After about twenty minutes, Bucky gets up to unpack the shopping. “I’m gonna put the lasagna in at, like, half four, ‘cause you said she’d arrive at five.” Bucky calls out, emptying the bags onto the counter.

 

“Sure!” Steve yells back, but then gets distracted.

 

His phone rings, and this is the third time today. He quickly cancels the call and stuffs it back in his pocket, leaving the couch to go and help his boyfriend prepare for their evening with Ria.

 

When she arrives, she’s dressed in an adorable sundress. It’s yellow and patterned with sunflowers, paired with some white Vans shoes. The redhead gives both Steve and Bucky a hug, and walks inside so that the door can be closed behind her.

 

“I saw a certain fan selfie earlier,” she grins. “Everybody was jealous that they got a photo with the  _ both _ of you.”

 

“Really?” Steve seems genuinely perplexed.

 

Bucky and Ria laugh. “Guess you’re popular too, Stevie.” He smirks, getting out his phone.

 

The blonde mimics his action, and has a quick glance onto Twitter. “Well, I’ve gained another hundred followers. Some of these people are like the FBI,” he mutters in surprise.

 

“Make yourself at home, Ria. I figured we could try casually chat about why you came here… y’know, not making it awkward and stuff.” Buck suggests, showing her to the couch.

 

She takes a seat, then so does Steve and finally Bucky. “Well, I wanna start by saying having someone with you helps. Getting yourself a Steve, basically,” Ria giggles, and Bucky smiles.

 

“I think I just get paranoid about what people think… and, uh, overwhelmed when there’s too many people.” He mutters softly, fidgeting with his hands.

 

“I get that. I try to either find a calm way out of the situation, or to have somebody with me that I know well.”

 

Bucky nods, listening carefully. She continues to discuss a few techniques, getting interrupted when Steve feels his phone vibrating inside of his pocket. “Sorry, you guys carry on,” he says, leaving and heading inside of the bedroom.

 

He’s gone for a while, and eventually re-emerges just after his boyfriend calls out that their dinner is ready. The trio sit at the table that’s between the kitchen and living room, eating their food and engaging light conversation.

 

“Is everything okay, Steve? You were talking for ages,” Barnes mumbles through a mouthful of garlic bread.

 

The blonde raising a questioning eyebrow athis manners, and Bucky promote apologises to Ria… who’s laughing anyway. “It’s fine, I’ll talk to you about it later.” Rogers fakes a smile, and the conversation is dropped.

 

▪️

 

Ria insisted that she was fine going back on her own and not staying over, so now Steve is tucked up in bed drawing in his sketch pad. Bucky is in the bathroom, getting ready to join him. Neither of them have talked about his mysterious phone call from earlier, which is more than okay for the blonde.

 

When the brunette gets into bed beside Steve, he shuffles closer to him. “So, what’s up?” He whispers. “Who was on the phone?”

 

Rogers sighs heavily. “My adoptive Mom… my Step-Dad had been calling all day. They saw the interview.” He mumbles.

 

Bucky stays quiet for a moment. “What did she say?” He sounds distant, maybe even afraid.

 

“Well, they wanna meet you. She’s always been more accepting than him, which was why I was more happy to answer her call. I’d already guessed that’s why he was calling.”

 

“It’s up to you, Stevie. If you aren’t comfortable with that, then I’m with you.” He pauses. “I never talk about my family, Steve. But, I want you to know what happened. My parents died when I was young, and after my Mom died we lived with various relatives. I have a sister, and I want you to meet her one day.

 

Steve is a little taken aback by this personal information blurting out of him, but at the same time he’s touched that Bucky is feeling so comfortable with him to tell him about it. He’s never pushed the guy to speak about personal things, and Bucky has never pushed Steve either.

 

“Does she live far?” He asks.

 

“Yeah, well — she lives in England now, with her husband. We email a lot… but, the last time I saw her was so long. I never really talk about it because it sorta opens up other questions about my family. But, I love you. And, I want you to know.”

 

The blonde sighs contentedly. “I love you too.” He whispers, rolling over so that they’re facing. Then he kisses Bucky on the lips. “So much.”

 

▪️


	18. Chapter 18

▪️

 

**_Tuesday morning._ **

 

The couple are currently sat together at the table, eating their cereal and scrolling through Twitter. “Your fans say you aren’t tweeting enough, apparently they are –  and I quote – ‘starving for more Bucky and Steve content.’” He laughs.

 

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “Speaking of starving for content of us, we never had a second date.”

 

Steve almost chokes on his mouthful of cereal. “That was the weirdest way to word that sentence.” He replies.

 

“Let’s go on a date today,” Barnes grins.

 

“Where?” The blonde asks, leaning back in his chair.

 

The other guy looks deep in thought for a few moments. “I know! Let’s go to the beach… it’s warm out and a weekday. Coney Island wouldn’t be too busy.” He’s already looking excited, and Steve couldn’t say nO even if he wanted to.

 

“Let’s do it. Don’t make me go on any roller coasters though,” the blonde warns and earns a chuckle from his boyfriend.

 

“I won’t,” Bucky promises.

 

They finish their breakfasts and then start getting ready. Bucky puts on some denim shorts and a light blue tee, which is extremely simple but still cute. Steve decides to wear jeans and a dark purple vest that Ria had bought him at pride last year, it has a small pink heart on the front and then a small blue one on the back.

 

“That’s cute,” Bucky says, when he exits the bathroom. “You’re cute.” He adds, leaning in for a quick kiss.

 

The pair pack a backpack full of things they’re going to need for the day. Bucky warns Steve that he’s going to coat him in sunscreen and asks him about four times before they even leave if he’s taken all of his meds.

 

“I swear on your amazingly attractive face that I have!” Steve says, heading towards the door.

 

Bucky’s brow furrows. “Thanks?” He mutters, following the blonde.

 

They exit the apartment and lock up, then head towards the subway together. They hold hands, weaving through the streets together. “Are you gonna be good if we see fans or paparazzi?” Steve asks.

 

“I’ve got you, I’ll be good.” Barnes replies.

 

They keep walking and then head down towards the platform. It’s about an hour on the subway until they reach their destination, and it’s extremely hot and stuffy. The pair sit together and chat, whilst Bucky ensures that Steve can breathe alright. An elderly woman comments how nice it is to see them caring for one another, and both of them blush profusely.

 

When they arrive, both Bucky and Steve are thankful to be out in the fresh air again. Rogers puts his sunglasses on and smiles at the sight of the place. “Are we gonna go on the beach first?” He asks, tugging the brunette towards the sight of the ocean.

 

The couple hurry into the sand, kicking off their flip flops and then they look for somewhere to sit. They opt to sit closer to the sea, away from most of the crowds. Bucky lays out their towels on the ground and then starts spraying Steve with sunscreen.

 

“Buck, that’s freezing!” The guy yelps, almost falling over from the shock.

 

His boyfriend laughs, and rubs in the sunscreen that he’s already sprayed. “Are you gonna swim? I packed some shorts.” He informs, continuing to add the sun protection all over Steve’s pale skin.

 

“Nah, you go ahead though. I’ll admire you from a distance.” Steve replies.

 

Bucky chuckles, and sits himself down. After applying sunscreen to himself, he takes his phone out of his pocket. “Let’s give the fans some content to post later,” he says, opening the front camera.

 

The pair pose for a selfie, grins just slightly cheesy. Buck keeps on smiling, and puts his phone away again. “I’m gonna go and paddle!” He announces loudly, jumping up and sprinting off.

 

Steve watches his reaction to the chilly waters, and waves at him when he sees Bucky looking over. He puts the backpack full of their valuables onto his back, and then hurried over to join the guy. Rolling up his pants, Steve dips one foot into the water.

 

“It’s cold!” He exclaims, watching Bucky wade a little deeper.

 

The brunette turns, and splashes a little water over towards Steve. “Hey, jerk!” Rogers kicks some water back, and almost toppled over from the weight of the backpack.

 

Of course, Bucky finds this absolutely hilarious once he knows Steve is okay, and now he can’t stop laughing. So much so that he almost falls down himself. Now the both of them are laughing way too hard and Bucky is walking closer to Steve… and now, they’re kissing.

 

“This is the best second date ever.” Steve murmurs against Barnes’ lips.

 

They break apart, and Bucky rests his chin on top of his boyfriend’s head. “Love you,” he says softly.

 

“Love you more!” The blonde smirks, running back in to shore.

 

Barnes chases him until they’re both sat down on their towels again, holding hands and watching the waves. “Wanna get some ice cream after lunch?” He asks, making little designs in the sand with his spare hand.

 

“Of course,” Steve replies, a smile on his face that he couldn’t wipe off even if he  

tried.

 

The pair stay sat on the beach for a little while longer, talking and watching the seagulls steal peoples fries. Nobody notices Bucky, but he’s already voiced that he’s fine if anyone does. So, the whole atmosphere is relaxed and it’s extremely comforting for the both of them.

 

After leaving the sand they head towards the busier part of the tourist attraction, and find some food. The hotdogs were an easy choice, so now they’re sat together on a bench finish their bite to eat. Bucky snaps a secret photo of Steve struggling with some tomato ketchup lipstick, and really can’t wait to use it for blackmail later on.

 

“So, ice cream!” Barnes says, holding out his hand for Steve to take.

 

He helps him to his feet and they wander off to find some dessert. They aren’t disappointed when they find a small hut selling an array of different flavours. Bucky opts for chocolate chip and Steve picks strawberry and cream. They take another snap of themselves eating the giant cones, and then Buck gets some on his nose which makes Steve giggle way too much.

 

They keep on strolling together, admiring the views of the sea when they heat a voice behind them. “Excuse me, are you Bucky and Steve? The guys from the Buzzfeed article?” The pair of them turn around in sync, still chewing on their last mouthfuls of ice cream.

 

“Yeah, hi!” Bucky finishes his bite first,and greets the nervous looking girl.

 

She smiles. “I don’t wanna bother you, but I just wanted to say thanks so much for voicing your relationship. You helped me come out to my Mom and after I showed her your video, she told me that she was willing to learn more. I really admire you both and think you’re a cute couple.”

 

Both Steve and Bucky are speechless for a few moments. “That’s so awesome, thank you so much for telling me that. What’s your name?” Barnes asks.

 

“I’m Lily. I’ll leave you both in peace now, okay?” She says shyly.

 

This time it’s Steve that steps in. “Wait, you gotta get a photo! Shall I take one of you both?” He looks at Bucky.

 

The girl laughs. “Can you be in it too, Steve?”

 

“Oh, uh, sure!” He beams, walking over to her.

 

She takes out her phone and puts it on selfie mode. Bucky offers to hold it for a better angle that’ll fit them all in properly, and then the trio all smile. He hands it back to her and rubs her back. “Keep being you, Lily!” He says.

 

“Thank you so much, honestly. Have a great day!” She says, her hands shaking as she puts her phone away.

 

Steve and Bucky watch her run off to who they presume must be a friend, and then they turn and carry on walking. “God, that was surreal.” Barnes exhales heavily, taking his boyfriend’s hand again.

 

“That was so cool though,” the blonde replies.

 

“It was.” Buck smiles.

 

They keep on walking until Steve gets out of breath, so they rest on a bench together. “Wanna walk back? Or do you need more resting time?” Bucky asks, brushing some hair out of Steve’s eyes.

 

“I’ll be okay,” the guy responds. “Plus, I wanna try and win a giant teddy bear just because.” He grins.

 

So, the couple head back to all of the different machines and rides. Bucky gets some cotton candy and Steve snaps an adorable photo on his phone of Bucky eating it with the backdrop of the sea behind them. Rogers doesn’t win himself a giant teddy, but they find a photo booth and take stupid photos. There’s four in one strip, and they turn out looking great – the first one they’re both looking in the wrong direction, so on the second one they’re laughing, the third they’ve stuck their tongues out and the last one Bucky kisses Steve on his cheek at the last minute.

 

It’s close to four pm now, and they’re both quite tired. The pair decide to have one last little stay on the beach, where they lie down and watch the clouds. “That one looks like a dragon,” Steve says, pointing upwards.

 

“It’s definitely a ninja turtle, Stevie.” Barnes states all seriously, making his boyfriend laugh.

 

“What about that one there?” The blonde points to somewhere else.

 

“Uhhh… that’s an elephant eating a dinosaur.” They both burst out laughing after that.

 

Without realising, they both spend over an hour just watching the clouds and messing around with different names for them. It’s past five o’clock when they check the time, and start packing their things away again. Steve stretches himself out, and falls into Bucky’s open arms.

 

“Thanks for my first date, Buck.” He murmurs sleepily into the guy’s chest.

 

Bucky kisses atop of his head. “You’re welcome,” he says softly.

 

They head back to the subway and begin their journey home. When they’re finally back inside of the apartment, Barnes opens up his twitter and it isn’t long before he stumbles upon Lily’s twitter account. She posted a tweet a few hours ago explaining what had happened but thourfully she hadn’t included the location;  _ ‘@cutebucky omfg so today I met the guys I discovered through buzzfeed a few weeks ago. I’d heard about James through social media, but not really paid any attention. Long story short I was feeling down one day and stumbled upon his interview about him and his boyfriend. This video helped me come out as bisexual to my mom and today I actually got to tell both him and Steve about this. They seemed so lovely and accepting towards me. After I told them I said I’d leave but Steve said I needed a photo first, and didn’t even think I wanted him in the selfie. We took this photo and then I left them alone. Thyme were so cute, they were holding hands and omfg it was adorable. They’re so sweet and I have decided to forever stan. Everyone needs to follow Bucky and Steve if they wanna see cute photos and stan a talented actor too!!’ _

 

Bucky grins, and shows the tweet to Steve. “She’s so sweet,” he says.

 

Barnes nods in agreement, then likes her tweet. He then types out a reply;  _ ‘I’m glad you are finally yourself around your mom and I hope you continue to grow. You are so amazing! :D thanks for respecting our privacy !’  _ After clicking the ‘send tweet’ button, he opens a separate tweet and adds the selfie that he had taken with Steve earlier on. He captions it  _ ‘A day at the beach is a day well spent. Especially one with you @SteveRogerss :)’ _ then sends it.

 

Steve has clearly received the notification, as he’s smiling like an idiot right now. “That’s a really, overly adorable tweet you got there.” He chuckles, already having liked and retweeted it.

 

He replies too, saying  _ ‘thanks for putting up with me and laughing when I was chased by seagulls!’  _ Buck starts laughing at that, and the both of them are in fits of giggles once again.

 

They sigh contentedly, leaning into one another’s touch. “Wanna head to bed? I’m tired,” Steve offers, getting up from the couch.

 

Bucky follows him and then they both get ready. They’re soon lying down together, hand in hand and staring at the ceiling. Once again they start talking about how amazing their day was, and Steve falls asleep mid-sentence about how good his ice cream tasted.

 

This is what they’ve been looking for. This is  _ definitely _ what love looks like to them.

 

▪️


	19. Chapter 19

▪️

 

**_Thursday evening._ **

 

When Steve arrives home from a rather long and sweaty shift at the cafe, he does not expect Bucky to bombard him the second after he steps inside. But, that’s exactly what they does. And, he’s rambling all sorts at practically the speed of lightning.

 

“Woah,” Rogers says, kicking the door shut behind him. “Slow down!”

 

The brunette takes a breath. “I got an audition!” He blurts out, a ridiculously adorable grin worn over his flushed face.

 

Steve breaks into a smile immediately. “You did?!” He beams. “What for?”

 

“Well, there’s this guy and he contacted my agent after seeing my interview with Tara. He’s pansexual, and he’s been creating short films for a few years that relate to the community. Last year his movie was shown at sundance and he’s producing another one for the festival this year, about struggling with your sexuality and then flourishing slowly as you discover yourself. He’s hired me and he asked if you can help! He knows about your college background from the article and wants to hire you too!” Bucky barely takes one breath as he hurls every little bit of amazing news towards his boyfriend, who’s wide eyed and taking it all in.

 

The blonde smiles even wider, and launches himself at Barnes. They squeeze one another into a hug, just standing there for a few minutes appreciating the gesture. “I love you,” Steve murmurs against his warm chest.

 

Bucky lets him go, but is still holding Steve’s shoulders. “I love you too, and I’m proud of you. Do you think the cafe will be weird if you get this job?” He asks, brushing some hair out of the blonde’s joyous eyes.

 

He looks deep in thought for a few moments. “I don’t think so… did this guy say the shooting hours?”

 

The brunette shakes his head. “I have an audition Sunday, ‘cause I said you could come along then too. The guy’s name is Anthony, he seems really nice.” Bucky explains.

 

“I’ll talk to them at the cafe tomorrow, I’m sure it’ll be fine… also, slight downer on the conversation, but I talked to Sally — uh, adoptive Mom — and, we came up with a compromise for a face to face meeting.” Rogers says, heading over to the bedroom in preparation for a shower.

 

Bucky follows him. “What was it?” He asks, appreciating the view of Steve tugging his shirt off before him.

 

“We’re gonna Skype one day after work, I thought it’d be less… nerve wracking.” He struggles with finding the right word.

 

Barnes nods. “That’s a good idea,” he agrees. “I’ll go start dinner, okay?”

 

Steve calls out some sort of reply from the shower, and Bucky assumes it was one of agreement. They sit and eat their pasta together at the table, discussing possible future moves if Bucky and Steve both get this job. They decide that they’d like a new apartment, maybe one a little bigger and more secluded in the city. Bucky says he’d like to visit England and take Steve with him, so they agree that once they earn enough money they’ll go and see Barnes’ sister for a well deserved vacation.

 

▪️

 

After Steve’s shift on Saturday, the couple discuss their ever looming Skype call that they still haven’t scheduled. It’s been avoided for long enough, so Rogers bites the bullet and sends a text to Sally about possibly doing it tonight.

 

“Why am I so nervous? I mean, if Edmond starts being an idiot I’ll just hang up… I can do that, right?” He rambles, pacing up and down in front of the kitchen Rea whilst Bucky washes the dishes.

 

“Course you can. If not, I’ll flip him off and _then_ hang up.” The brunette grins mischievously.

 

Rogers stops mid-pace. “Buck, as much as it would please me to see that… please don’t,” he chuckles a little.

 

“Fine,” Bucky pretends to be annoyed, dragging out the word before he finishes it.

 

A second later and Steve’s phone buzzes along the coffee table a few metres away. “It’s ringing… it’s ringing! I didn’t mean call me now, woman!” The blonde yelps, not knowing what to do.

 

“I’ll answer it,” Bucky says without really thinking, suddenly gaining a burst of unknown confidence.

 

Before either of them can change his mind, Barnes walks the worktops and out of the kitchen. He picks up the phone and swipes across, being met on screen by two slightly old looking people. “Hello, Mr and Mrs… uh,” he trails off, realising Steve was adopted and he has no idea of their actual last names, or whether Rogers _is_ their last name and then that would mean he doesn’t even know Steve’s real one.

 

“Oh, call me Sally, dear. This is my husband, Edmond. You must be James!” The woman beams quite warmly, shuffling closer to her husband. “Where is Steve? Is he alright?”

 

Bucky relaxes a little bit, and sits down on the couch. “He’s okay, aren’t you Steve?” He calls out, turning to see that the poor guy is still frozen on the spot.

 

Shaking himself out of his trance, the blonde hurriedly goes to join his boyfriend. “Hi,” he mutters awkwardly at the screen.

 

“You look well, Steven! Doesn’t he look well, Edmond?” The woman turns to her spouse, who nods.

 

There’s a minor silence, before Sally speaks again. “So, tell us a little about yourself, James. Steve has been telling me that you’re an actor!” She seems genuinely interested, which relieves Bucky a little bit more.

 

“Yes, Ma’am. I’ve recently finished a movie, and it hits theatres at Christmas time.” He explains.

 

She smiles. “Very polite. How’s the cafe, Steve?” Sally asks, whilst her husband stays mute once more.

 

“Real good, thanks. We had a busy one today,” Bucky can tell that his boyfriend is so much more at ease speaking when it’s only Sally making conversation.

 

They keep on talking for a while longer, about small things like work and the weather. The whole time Edmond stays quiet, as if he’s silently judging each little piece of information to somehow blackmail Steve with later on — at least, that’s his own personal take on it, anyway. About forty five minutes into the conversation, a noise off screen startles Sally and she starts rambling on about a cake.

 

“I’ll go and get that, let you two get on. It was very nice to somewhat meet you, James. You’ll have to come around and have some cake one day!”

 

Both Steve and Bucky are smiling now, as they wave ‘goodbye’ to her. Neither of them mention Edmond, as he doesn’t make the effort to say anything either. Once Rogers has pressed the red phone symbol on the screen, he exhales a huge breath that he’d seemingly been holding that whole time.

 

“That went okay!” Barnes says, slinging an arm around his boyfriend.

 

Steve nods. “Yeah.”

 

“Also… your last name _is_ Rogers, right?”

 

The blonde laughs for the first time in quite a while. “Yeah, Sally has Edmond’s now — Tinton. I always kept my Ma’s.” He replies.

 

“That’s nice,” Bucky comments softly, playing with Steve’s hair.

 

He leans into the touch, his eyes getting sleepy already. “We’d better order a takeout, before you fall asleep.” Barnes smirks, leaning down to press a kiss to the blonde’s head.

 

Steve opens one eye. “Pizza?” He murmurs.

 

“Pizza it is.” Bucky laughs, reaching for his own cellphone to make the call.

 

▪️


	20. Chapter 20

**_11 months later..._ **

 

Since his audition, Bucky truly flourished in his new role. Being with Steve every day at work, and not having to hide their relationship was amazing for the both of them and did wonders for Barnes’ mental health. Although still denying needing any kind of therapy, the guy has been struggling over the past few months with gaining in popularity. At the beginning of the year he attended a New Years party, courtesy of his director… that was when his worst panic attack to date had unfolded.

 

He passed out from the panic and Ria had to call an ambulance, whilst Steve and Marco (the director) tried to bring him around. It was an extremely worrying time for everyone, and that was when Rogers confronted his boyfriend. Bucky agreed to see a therapist, but it only lasted two months. He struggled with talking to a stranger, and switched therapists after a month due to the first guy being quite insensitive. Some of the methods they gave him were breaking exercises, because Bucky refused medication. He didn’t want it getting into the media, and at the time he was getting a lot of calls after it leaked he was attending therapy.

 

So, the last appointment he attended was in April. But, since then he’s been meditating and reading self help books when he can. He tries to stay of social media, but Tara had helped him with writing a small article on his mental health after the leak. Bucky just feels it’s best to ignore the negativity, so that’s why he stays offline most days. He tries to speak to fans, but sometimes it all gets too much and Steve puts his phone away so they can have some time to calm down.

 

Aside from his hard times, Steve has stuck by Bucky every step of the way. He went with him to therapy a few times, he sits with him during anxiety attacks and Ria has been helping them both on coping. Steve no longer works in the cafe, due to having a full on apprenticeship with Marco — he was so much nicer to work with as opposed to Clarke, and Steve has truly learned a lot and had the best experience. Since the movie is now finished, the director has promised Steve a part time job helping out with his other projects, and has also given his word to Bucky that he will always be just a phone call away if he needs work or a shoulder to lean upon when he’s struggling.

 

It’s now June, and they’re well into the new year. They’ve been together now for fourteen months and they’re still very much in love. The movie was shot for seven months and Steve has plenty of candid photos on his phone of Bucky in some rather aesthetic looking outfits. He has no regrets. Then, the movie took three months to edit. Finally, one month later and Bucky is ready to be flown out to LA and attend the Sundance festival with Steve, for his second acting debut. He knows how much publicity this will get, and has even been informed by his new media trainer about all of the hype online — Marco is very good friends with a famous director named Taika, and he’s been helping to promote the movie which has made it double in anticipation from the public.

 

“God, I’m nervous… Stevie, how do I look?” Barnes asks, almost tripping over his suitcase as he spins around from looking in the mirror.

 

The blonde looks up from their bed. “It’s six in the morning, we’re going to the airport.” He yawns. “But, you look lovely.”

 

“Paparazzi exist, Steven.” Bucky puts on a false and cringe valley girl accent.

 

Steve laughs. “I’ll fight them for you,” he offers quite seriously.

 

“Let’s not create a scandal, babe.” The brunette chuckles, walking over and offering the guy his hand to help him up.

 

They hail a cab outside, and make it to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Sure enough, there are a few paparazzi outside — everyone knows that tomorrow is the movie festival, and there’s a list online of attendees already. But, since Bucky was expecting the photographers to be there, he manages a smile, holds on tight to Steve’s hand and they make it to check-in with no panic attack.

 

The pair also make it onto the plane with no issues. They don’t meet any fans or anymore paps, they just await their flight details together. Bucky sleeps most of the way, holding onto his boyfriend’s hand. Upon their landing Steve reminds Barnes that there’s probably going to be more people waiting for him than there was back home. He nods, and takes a deep breath.

 

“I got this,” Bucky says, letting another woman walk along the small corridor before he steps out.

 

They both head through security and then make their way to get their bags. A driver is waiting for them outside, ready to take them to the hotel where all of the actors are staying for the weekend. The festival runs from Saturday to Sunday, so that’s why the boyfriend’s are traveling early Friday morning. There’s still a lot to do — suits to collect, interviews to prepare for etc.

 

As they head out to arrivals, Rogers gives his boyfriend’s hand a comforting squeeze. They exit through the doors, seeing a small group of people of around five girls and two boys stood waiting. There’s a slightly larger group of paparazzi behind them, but Bucky walks directly to the fans waving and calling his name.

 

“Hey, guys!” He beams, feeling quite confident.

 

Bucky signs a girl’s poster of the new movie. He hears the paps shouting at him, and turns. “You can get your pictures, let me see the fans first. Is that cool, guys?” He asks calmly, and sighs from the relief when they nod back at him.

 

“Thanks for stopping, Bucky. My name is James and I was transitioning when you released the Buzzfeed interview last year. You’re kinda my inspiration, not to bombard you… but, thanks so much.” The guy says shyly.

 

It takes Barnes a moment to process that information, but then he smiles. “Dude, that means a lot. Wanna take a photo?” He sees the fan’s hand shaking a little whilst holding their phone.

 

Bucky snaps a selfie of them both, and hands the device back. “Keep it up. I’m proud!” He grins, then moves on to the last girl who’s waiting patiently for him to sign her magazine — an issue Bucky featured in late last year.

 

“Thanks! See you soon.” The brunette waves to the fans, and turns around to check that Steve is still there.

 

He takes his hand again, and then walks towards the exit for the airport. Bucky smiles for the paparazzi, answering a few of their questions about how their flight was. “Thanks, James! You two are cute!” One shouts, as another snaps a photo with the flash on.

 

Steve keeps ahold of Bucky’s hand all the way until they’re past the paparazzi, and spot their driver waiting for them closer to the exit. They climb inside the car, and Rogers exhales heavily. “You okay?” He asks Buck, who’s shaking a little.

 

“Yeah, they weren’t too bad.” He says. “Did you hear the fan who told me about his transition? It’s crazy to me that I can help in ways like that.” Bucky rubs his eyes.

 

“I heard. It’s amazing,” Steve agrees, leaning across to kiss his cheek.

 

Soon the couple arrive at the hotel, and thank their driver. They head up to their room to relax for a while, before they have to leave and collect their suits. Steve falls asleep within half an hour, so Barnes leaves a note an hour later to say he’ll collect his outfit and be back soon.

 

The pair relax for the rest of the night, needing a good sleep before tomorrow. The morning will consist of Bucky’s media trainer arriving, along with his manager to help with the talking about what to say etc. Then come afternoon time Marco is bringing his own hair and makeup team to the hotel to finish up their looks. The festival doesn’t start until eight, but the red carpet is at six and Bucky will have a few interviews to complete before Marco talks about the movie inside. Finally, the movie will be screened and then there will be another talk and some more interviews and photos will be taken.

 

▪️

 

**_The next morning._ **

 

Steve isn’t sure what time it is when he rolls over, but the first thing he notices is a dull ache in his head.  _ Oh no… not today.  _ The second he tries to sit up he feels a wave of dizziness hit him, and his chest feels tight. “Fuck,” he mumbles, reaching for his inhaler on the nightstand.

 

“Stevie? That you?” A voice from the hotel bathroom calls, and then Bucky emerges with a towel wrapped around his waist. He sees his boyfriend leaning up against the headrest, and grimaces. “You alright?”

 

The blonde shakes his head, trying not to well up. He doesn’t want to let Bucky down on one of the biggest weekends of his damn career. “Buck —“ tears are already tumbling and he hides his face in his hands, embarrassed.

 

Bucky rushes over, and sits down beside him. “Steve? What is it?” He soothes his boyfriend, rubbing gentle circles around his back as he cries.

 

“I’m sick and I’m gonna ruin the best day of your acting career,” Rogers chokes out in between sobs.

 

The brunette gulps. He wants nothing but the best for his boyfriend, but it has just now dawned on him that he’s going to have to go to the festival alone. “Hey, stop being a dork.” Bucky chuckles softly. “You rest up, and maybe come tomorrow instead, yeah?” He says, reaching to feel his forehead.

 

Steve moves his hands. “Are you sure?”

 

Bucky nods, handing him a tissue from the box beside their bed. “Yes, I’m sure. Let me find some Aspirin, okay?” He disappears from view for a while, sorting through Steve’s medicine case.

 

“Thanks,” the blonde whispers, using his water bottle to take the pills.

 

“Okay, so Helen and Lara are arriving at ten… I’ll do the meeting in the restaurant downstairs, so you can sleep. If you need anything whilst I’m down there text or call me. Marco arrives at three, but I’m sure there’s somewhere we can set up.” Bucky brushes Steve’s hair away from his watery eyes.

 

Steve nods.

 

“Do you think you’re gonna need to go to the hospital? I don’t wanna leave if you’re really bad,” his boyfriend asks, clearly quite worried.

 

The blonde shakes his head. “I think it’s just a head cold. It’ll probably feel better tomorrow,” he explains.

 

“Promise?”

 

“Promise.”

 

Bucky seems satisfied with his answer, and continues getting ready for his meeting. By the time he leaves the hotel room, Steve is fast asleep again and snoring. Barnes leaves a little note reminding the guy to text him with updates on how he’s doing, and draws a smiley face at the bottom with extra kisses. He heads downstairs to meet with his media trainer and manager, trying to calm the feeling of dread that’s slowly expanding inside of him.

 

▪️


	21. Chapter 21

After all of the meetings and lectures about what he must do and say are over with, Bucky wishes he could go back and see Steve. The guy has been reassuring him through text that he’s fine and for him to enjoy this opportunity, but Bucky’s mind is elsewhere and he feels vacant during each talk. He’s had his suit put on, makeup added and hair styled too. He faked a smile in a photo, wanting to send it to his boyfriend in a while.

 

He’s in the car now, accompanied by his manager. First he must walk the red carpet and pose for photos, then he will be interviewed by whoever wants to talk to him and lastly Tara has scheduled an interview ‘in a quiet place’ out of the way before the ceremony begins and movies start being introduced. Bucky hadn’t realised she was going to be there and is extremely thankful for her request to interview him last. But, as the car gets closer and the knot in his stomach gets tighter he wishes that Steve were here with him and Tara was the _only_ interview he has to see.

 

The noises from the crowds are growing louder and he feels his heartbeat thumping in his ears. “Barnes? We’re here!” His manager exclaims, taking him by the arm.

 

Buck nods, reaching for the door handle and almost tumbling out when the driver opens it for him instead from the other side. He’s met with flashing lights and screaming people, but shoves his anxiety to the back of his mind and plasters on a smile. He raises a shaking hand to wave, making each foot walk in front of the other to try and greet some fans. He doesn’t want to let them down out of everyone who’s here.

 

He manages to snap a few selfies and sign some things, unsure if whether or not they’re real fans or people wanting to sell his signature. Nobody really seems to be welcoming, but a handful of people give him nice words of encouragement after he hands them back their pen. Bucky can see the board with the film festival's name scattered all over, each celebrity walking in front of it to pose in front of the teeming amounts of cameras. Taking a deep breath, he manages to make it over there. He can hear his name being yelled, but he’s feeling quite dizzy and quickly starts taking prolonged breaths again.

 

“JAMES! OVER HERE!” Some shout, as Bucky fails to react to the name he so rarely hears. He smiles, waves, tries not to blink. He stumbles away, only to be called back. His cheeks heat up and he’s finally free, staggering over to the interviewers standing at the ready with their microphones and shiny toothed grins.

 

Bucky isn’t sure if he can do it. He’s going to make a fool out of himself, if he hasn’t already. They’ll say he’s drunk, or high and post fake stories about him. The fans will hate him. Barnes blinks back tears, not realising that the interviewer is waiting for him with a concerned look on her face. “I’ll be right back,” he isn’t sure if he smiles or grimaces at her, as he makes a beeline for wherever looks like an exit.

 

He makes it through the backstage area, through a shortcut that leads him around the props that backdrop against each interview. Bucky runs up alongside them, spying the majestic building that the film festival is held inside. A security guard stops him at a fire exit, looking confused to see he’s wearing a celebrity pass. “Man, you’re up in the wrong part. Interviews are back there,” his gruff voice fumbles, patting Bucky on the shoulder.

 

“I — I gotta get inside.” He gulps, feeling nauseous and as if he could pass out any given second.

 

“Hey, you okay?”

 

Bucky shakes his head.

 

“Man, first aid is in here c’mon.” Just as the man takes him by the arm, Bucky doesn’t know if he can even make it to first aid. What if there’s reporters in there watching?

 

“No… no,” he murmurs, pulling away and scrunching shut his eyes. His breathing is growing erratic and his chest feels too tight. His clothes feel like they’re strangling him and he just needs to stop.

 

The security guard reaches for him as he tries to walk away, but hesitates as he hears running footsteps ascending near. “Bucky!” She calls out, almost tripping in her heels. “He’s my interviewee, let us in.” The woman flashes her media badge, and he steps aside.

 

She takes Bucky by the hand and leads him through behind the scenes corridors, until she finds her empty room. His breathing is still painful gasps for breath and he’s shaking terribly. The woman shuts the door and guides him to a chair. “Breathe, Bucky. Deep breaths.” Her hands squeeze his and he looks up through the tears to try and work out who it is.

 

“Tara!” It comes out as a sob, and he clutches his stomach before doubling over. “Tara, I can’t breathe.” Bucky chokes, his body shaking with each cry.

 

“Yes, you can. I’m here. Take one breath now… and another,” she slowly soothes him, rubbing his back. “That’s it, breathe… it’s alright. You’re here and it’s just me and you.”

 

He continues to cry, trying to follow her instructions but starting to cough. “I… I feel like I’m… I’m gonna throw up,” Bucky stammers, trying to open his eyes but seeing the room physically sway doesn’t do him any good.

 

“I’ve got you. There’s a bathroom in here, do you need it?”

 

The brunette manages a nod and she helps him inside. She sits with him the whole time, rubbing more comforting circles up against his back and handing him water when it’s over. He manages a few sips and some more deep breaths, and slowly but surely he starts to calm himself down. “Better?” Tara asks softly, helping him to stand as his legs shake like jelly.

 

“I think so,” Bucky whispers. He runs a hand over his tear streaked face. Bucky manages to wash both his hands and face next, then dries himself off with a towel. They go back into the room that was meant for his final interview, and take a seat.

 

Tara looks at him. “I can sneak you back to the hotel, I just have to call your manager and tell her that you won’t make it on stage.”

 

Just the sentence about going back out there makes Bucky’s stomach do another flip. He fishes his cellphone out of his suit pocket, and hands it to her. He doesn’t even hear her make the call, he’s so zoned out that his surroundings don’t matter. His head feels like he’s had five too many drinks and he’s woken up the next day. All Bucky wants to do is go back to Steve… God, he’s going to be so disappointed. Barnes feels himself well up again, and soon he’s back to sobbing once more.

 

“Hey,” Tara goes back to being by his side. “The ceremony just started and we’ll go out the back. My driver will take us, she’s my best friend so she won’t start any rumours.” Her words of reassurance are helpful, but Bucky still feels like he’s trapped in some kind of airtight box and can’t get out.

 

All he can do is nod and take her hand, trusting her to get him out of here without them being spotted. The whole journey back to the hotel is a painful blur to him, even making it back to the hotel room is now a distant memory as they stand outside of the door whilst Tara knocks. Steve comes to the door looking considerably better than he did this morning, but his boyfriend is too distracted to notice. In fact, he’s staring at his shoes and apologising uncontrollably to Steve about how he’s ruined everything including his relationship and his career.

 

Tara starts to help him inside, slowly explaining everything to the blonde before her who looks like he’s about to cry too. “He’s okay, he needs to calm down and realise that he hasn’t ruined it all. Okay, Bucky? Steve is here.” She takes him to the bed, and Steve sits down too.

 

“Bucky, I told you I love you no matter what.” Rogers says loudly, talking over Bucky’s incoherent nonsense he’s still mumbling. “I love you!” He exclaims, wrapping his arms around him until he quietens.

 

After more deep breaths and feeling Steve close by, Bucky calms a little more. Half an hour passes, and Tara brings the couple some water and tea. They sit quietly together, all three on the edge of the bed. Finally, Barnes’ sobs and gulps die down and his breathing regains somewhat of a normal but shaky pace.

 

“I can’t be an actor anymore.” He says.

 

Silence.

 

“I need to take a break.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for abandoning this fic for so long. I started a new fandom and became hyper fixated on writing for that franchise instead, and sort of left stevebucky behind!
> 
> I am going to try and finish this fic within the next week or so. Sorry once again for leaving you hanging!! Thank you for reading :) x

 

~

 

_ ‘To my fans… my friends. To everyone who has supported me. I’m so sorry that I didn’t get to come on stage tonight and talk about the new movie, it meant so much to me to be a part of this and to proudly share my sexuality with you all. But, I’m not going to lie to you so here’s the truth… I had a panic attack - a bad one - and I need to take a break. _

 

_ I’m typing this as Steve sleeps beside me, back home again. We headed to the airport early and thank god there was an early flight. I felt so bad taking him, I know he’s sick and his ears were hurting on the plane but if I’d have left tomorrow then there’d have been pas there and we both knew I wouldn’t do well. I’m going to tweet this once I’m done. I mean, it’s almost four in the morning, we got home so late. It’s taken me more than a few hours to get my thoughts together since I left the film festival, so I’m sorry if any of this doesn’t make sense. I tried therapy a few months ago but it didn’t work out for me, and I thought I was doing better. But, every time I try and attend a public event I feel like I’m dying inside and I can’t go on like that. So, I’m taking a break from my career and it feels like I’m gonna ruin it all. I don’t want to end my career just as it begins, but this is something I need to do in order to prioritise my own health and also Steve’s happiness. I don’t want my boyfriend to watch me sob or throw up every damn time I leave the apartment and run into paps. _

 

_ I’m not blaming anyone. This is just my own mental health and I urge anyone going through this to seek help if you can. I’m sorry, I’ll try and come back soon. Thank you for supporting me and sorry for being offline so often. You’re all so awesome, I hear the best stories meeting you all and it warms my heart. I know I’ve said sorry way too much, but I’ll see you soon. This’ll probably end up in a lot of newspapers and magazines, maybe they’ll twist my words… I dunno. Anyway, see you all soon I promise. It’s June now, right? I’ll be back… I’ll probably be a few months, maybe I’ll see you all at Christmas. Don’t miss me, I’m gonna get better and be all good I swear. I swear for the fans and for Steve and for Tara and Ria. They all helped me so much. You’ve all been so nice. Thanks again and sorry… _

 

__ Bucky x.’ _ _

 

 

The actor releases a prolonged breath as he copies and pastes the link of the message onto a new Tweet. He looks at it for a good five minutes before pressing send, then logs out of his account and deletes the app from his phone. Bucky silently prays that nobody will be upset to tears that he’s left — he knows that some fans can get very passionate, and the last thing he’d ever want to do is hurt anyone. Sighing softly, he turns and presses a gentle kiss to his sleeping boyfriend’s cheek.

 

As long as he can find his confidence and happiness again, it’ll all be worth it. Even if he misses out on future jobs, or if the media publish lies. Nobody knows where his apartment —  _ their _ apartment — is based, so that’s one good thing. Bucky and Steve will be safe here, and tomorrow he’ll call the therapist’s office and book a new set of appointments with another Doctor. Or, maybe he’ll go somewhere new to seek treatment. Maybe he’ll even give meds a try… whatever helps, and it doesn’t matter what anybody thinks of it. He just needs to get better and then he can start to live his life all over again. For himself, for the fans, for Ria…

 

… and for Steve.

 

~


End file.
